03-19-2010, 05:46 AM
Sophia was not in the mood to talk when Kaden had stopped her. It wasn’t that she was mad at him, not really, but her retorts, consistent in their venomous undertones, made it seem like she wanted to claw her eyes out. While the courier likely chalked it up to just a woman being a woman—a sentiment confirmed by an ill-timed chide by the man himself—Sophia knew that it was something much more than that. Her venom, if she could really even call it that, had been compounded over a lifetime, not just a date on the calendar. Unfortunately, for both of them, that was something that Kaden seemed to have trouble understanding.
“Look, Sophia, I trust you, and right now I think we should be working with each other, not against each other. If something’s bothering you, you can talk to me about it.”
“Sweet of you,” she shot him a piercing glare. The healer was forced to bite her lower lip, almost to keep herself from absolutely laying into him. Shaking her head, she sighed instead, softening her stance on everything, or at least her position on him. “I’m not mad at you. I don’t mean to act like…this. It’s just…”
Kaden raised an eyebrow as the healer hesitated, rubbing her arm awkwardly as she suddenly began to avoid eye contact. “I don’t know how many more ways I can say it, but you can talk to me. I’ve never seen you act like this.”
I’ve never felt this way…
Sophia thought about going down that road. In some ways, she wanted, but she knew, somewhere deep down inside, where that discussion would end up. Besides, it wasn’t what was really eating her up. “…okay. Tell me something, then. Why did you want to save those people?”
“What people?” Kaden asked innocently. Sophia frowned and almost smacked him on the arm, but it suddenly occurred to her that he wasn’t being smart with her.
She rolled her eyes, closing the lids so that he couldn’t see it. “The people on the ship.”
“Oh…” the blonde seemed confused by the question. “Because they were going to die. I didn’t really think much about it outside of that.”
“But they were just programs, Kaden,” Sophia said. “Not real people.”
“What’s your point?” the courier replied. “Real or not, I’m not going to sit back and watch someone drown. Would you?”
A sneer crept upon Sophia’s face. “Not if they aren’t real. You’ve somehow confused fantasy with reality on this one, my friend. Not only that, but you endangered everyone who was real by coming up with that hairbrained scheme of yours.”
“Hey, first of all, if everybody was so damned concerned for their own well-being, then they had every right to leave on their own,” Kaden was starting to get as worked up as Sophia had been. “But the funny thing is that you were the only one who did, and here you are. Safe and sound. Everything worked out for you, didn’t it?”
“Darn it, Kaden, when you step up and take charge like that, people start to look up to you,” Sophia took a step towards Kaden and sized him up. She widened her eyes and stared straight into his own. “You had an obligation to them—to us—and you sent us on some fool’s errand.”
“Why the hell is it my responsibility? All I did was give a suggestion. I didn’t ask to be your goddamn leader,” the courier shook his head. “Where is all of this coming from, anyway? You don’t seem to be acting like yourself.”
“I’m not myself, huh? Oh, I get it, I’m supposed to be acting all nice, right? Like the sweet naive little priestess?” Sophia clenched a fist. “Well, why? Why should I? Where has it gotten me, anyway?”
“Look, I didn’t mean to…”
“No, no, you wanted to talk, so here we are, talking! You want to know why I’m suddenly acting different, right? You want a reason? I’m tired, Kaden. I’m so exhausted from trying to make everyone happy that I want to cry. I’m sick of being treated like dirt all the time, only to keep a stupid smile on my pretty freaking face!” the former priestess closed her eyes tightly, her arms shaking as she flexed every muscle in them that she could. “I’m scared. I’ve always been so scared, ever since those bandits killed my father and almost killed me. I thought…I thought I was alone, then, but I figured that I could have just depended on you and God and everything would be alright. I had my faith…” she laughed, squeezing a tear out. “And what did that get me, my faith? Faith in what? My answer came loud and clear when I really did die. There was nothing there for me, Kaden. Everything I had believed in my entire life before that was a lie.”
“Sophia…” Kaden merely listened, a surprised expression with an empty stare.
“So, I thought to myself, what do I have? My father’s dead—died twice, actually—and the only family I’ve ever known is gone. There was nothing left for me when I was revived, suddenly, by some ‘miracle.’ Imagine my surprise, then, when the first person I stumble upon was you,” Sophia opened her eyes again, whites turned red from constant irritation. “When you saved me from those bandits that day, I thought you were my hero. You looked out for me there, and again during Friend or Foe. You might not…you might not have saved my life then, Kaden, but I know now that you saved my soul. I thought that I could believe in something again, and you risked my life for…for what? Air? Those programs weren’t anything and you knew it!”
Sophia had forgotten to take a break during that last barrage of dialogue and suddenly felt the need to take a deep breath. Kaden, though obviously struck by her words, just shook his head. “You should know me better than that, Sophia.”
Sophia’s eyes widened upon hearing his comment.
“Maybe they were programs, but could you tell the difference between them and me? People look like people to me, and on the off chance that some of them weren’t just…illusions or whatever, do you really think I could take those odds and still sleep at night?” the courier explained. “That’s not to say that I don’t care about you, Sophia. I just thought I could depend on you during times like these.” The healer looked down towards her feet. Beads of water fell from her tear ducts, rolling past tightened lips. Kaden sighed, his frustration starting to flare again. “Why do you care so much about how I think of you, anyway!?”
“Because I love you!” Sophia snapped back. She had never seen such an exasperated look of shock on anyone’s face before, and she was pretty sure that her own expression matched Kaden’s. Why did she say that? She knew that it was true, but not once did she ever consider ever saying that to his face. She quickly turned from him before she could even think about saying anything else. Before she started walking, however, Sophia turned her head slightly to speak over her shoulder. “But what does it matter? See you around, Kaden.”
“Look, Sophia, I trust you, and right now I think we should be working with each other, not against each other. If something’s bothering you, you can talk to me about it.”
“Sweet of you,” she shot him a piercing glare. The healer was forced to bite her lower lip, almost to keep herself from absolutely laying into him. Shaking her head, she sighed instead, softening her stance on everything, or at least her position on him. “I’m not mad at you. I don’t mean to act like…this. It’s just…”
Kaden raised an eyebrow as the healer hesitated, rubbing her arm awkwardly as she suddenly began to avoid eye contact. “I don’t know how many more ways I can say it, but you can talk to me. I’ve never seen you act like this.”
I’ve never felt this way…
Sophia thought about going down that road. In some ways, she wanted, but she knew, somewhere deep down inside, where that discussion would end up. Besides, it wasn’t what was really eating her up. “…okay. Tell me something, then. Why did you want to save those people?”
“What people?” Kaden asked innocently. Sophia frowned and almost smacked him on the arm, but it suddenly occurred to her that he wasn’t being smart with her.
She rolled her eyes, closing the lids so that he couldn’t see it. “The people on the ship.”
“Oh…” the blonde seemed confused by the question. “Because they were going to die. I didn’t really think much about it outside of that.”
“But they were just programs, Kaden,” Sophia said. “Not real people.”
“What’s your point?” the courier replied. “Real or not, I’m not going to sit back and watch someone drown. Would you?”
A sneer crept upon Sophia’s face. “Not if they aren’t real. You’ve somehow confused fantasy with reality on this one, my friend. Not only that, but you endangered everyone who was real by coming up with that hairbrained scheme of yours.”
“Hey, first of all, if everybody was so damned concerned for their own well-being, then they had every right to leave on their own,” Kaden was starting to get as worked up as Sophia had been. “But the funny thing is that you were the only one who did, and here you are. Safe and sound. Everything worked out for you, didn’t it?”
“Darn it, Kaden, when you step up and take charge like that, people start to look up to you,” Sophia took a step towards Kaden and sized him up. She widened her eyes and stared straight into his own. “You had an obligation to them—to us—and you sent us on some fool’s errand.”
“Why the hell is it my responsibility? All I did was give a suggestion. I didn’t ask to be your goddamn leader,” the courier shook his head. “Where is all of this coming from, anyway? You don’t seem to be acting like yourself.”
“I’m not myself, huh? Oh, I get it, I’m supposed to be acting all nice, right? Like the sweet naive little priestess?” Sophia clenched a fist. “Well, why? Why should I? Where has it gotten me, anyway?”
“Look, I didn’t mean to…”
“No, no, you wanted to talk, so here we are, talking! You want to know why I’m suddenly acting different, right? You want a reason? I’m tired, Kaden. I’m so exhausted from trying to make everyone happy that I want to cry. I’m sick of being treated like dirt all the time, only to keep a stupid smile on my pretty freaking face!” the former priestess closed her eyes tightly, her arms shaking as she flexed every muscle in them that she could. “I’m scared. I’ve always been so scared, ever since those bandits killed my father and almost killed me. I thought…I thought I was alone, then, but I figured that I could have just depended on you and God and everything would be alright. I had my faith…” she laughed, squeezing a tear out. “And what did that get me, my faith? Faith in what? My answer came loud and clear when I really did die. There was nothing there for me, Kaden. Everything I had believed in my entire life before that was a lie.”
“Sophia…” Kaden merely listened, a surprised expression with an empty stare.
“So, I thought to myself, what do I have? My father’s dead—died twice, actually—and the only family I’ve ever known is gone. There was nothing left for me when I was revived, suddenly, by some ‘miracle.’ Imagine my surprise, then, when the first person I stumble upon was you,” Sophia opened her eyes again, whites turned red from constant irritation. “When you saved me from those bandits that day, I thought you were my hero. You looked out for me there, and again during Friend or Foe. You might not…you might not have saved my life then, Kaden, but I know now that you saved my soul. I thought that I could believe in something again, and you risked my life for…for what? Air? Those programs weren’t anything and you knew it!”
Sophia had forgotten to take a break during that last barrage of dialogue and suddenly felt the need to take a deep breath. Kaden, though obviously struck by her words, just shook his head. “You should know me better than that, Sophia.”
Sophia’s eyes widened upon hearing his comment.
“Maybe they were programs, but could you tell the difference between them and me? People look like people to me, and on the off chance that some of them weren’t just…illusions or whatever, do you really think I could take those odds and still sleep at night?” the courier explained. “That’s not to say that I don’t care about you, Sophia. I just thought I could depend on you during times like these.” The healer looked down towards her feet. Beads of water fell from her tear ducts, rolling past tightened lips. Kaden sighed, his frustration starting to flare again. “Why do you care so much about how I think of you, anyway!?”
“Because I love you!” Sophia snapped back. She had never seen such an exasperated look of shock on anyone’s face before, and she was pretty sure that her own expression matched Kaden’s. Why did she say that? She knew that it was true, but not once did she ever consider ever saying that to his face. She quickly turned from him before she could even think about saying anything else. Before she started walking, however, Sophia turned her head slightly to speak over her shoulder. “But what does it matter? See you around, Kaden.”