[04] Cook For The King!

[Kaden]

“So I’ve been thinking,” Kaden called out to his partner-in-crime. His voice reverberated throughout the massive cavern they had entered.


“About anything useful?” came Piper’s reply as he leapt high into the air.

Through the space Piper had recently occupied, a high-pressure stream of water cut through the air. Her mighty leap carrying her to the ceiling of the cavern, Piper’s metal-clad hand dug into the side of the nearest stalactite. From her hanging perch, she took a moment of assess the situation she and Kaden had found themselves in.

The cavern she hovered above was not unlike the one they had plummeted into from the catacombs. A large body of water took up most of the space, though there appeared to be a useable path around either side. Aside from the entrance they had used, there was only one other opening that lead to the cavern and, of course, it lay on the other side of the water.

Normally, that wouldn’t have been a problem. Unfortunately, there was nothing normal about their circumstances. From within the water, countless forms began to claw their way onto the surface. The forms were largely humanoid in appearance, but their bodies were covered in scales. Fins sprouted from their backs and forearms, and webbing covered their flayed digits.

“Define useful,” Kaden yelled up to Piper.

“I’ll take that as a no.” Even from her perch high above, Kaden could tell she had rolled her eyes. “Ok, what were you thinking?”

“Well get this we—“

Before he could finish his thought, Kaden’s visage was washed in a bright blue hue as he summoned a barrier of energy. With a volatile hiss, a stream of water crashed against the curtain of ki. It was apparent that such an attack was the fish-people’s primary method of self-defense. Kaden was cautious to test to what extent they could internally pressurize fluids. Fortunately, a single stream seemed incapable of penetrating his defense. Unfortunately, they had far more than a single aquatic attacker to deal with. They rose from the water in droves.

“We get this event to cook for a king, right?”

“With you so far,” Piper responded.

As she spoke, the soldier curled her body upward, planting her feet upon a stalactite in a noticeable display of flexibility. The muscles in her legs coiled as she gathered strength, then exploded outward as she propelled herself back towards the ground. Flipping forward, her legs tensed once more. In a cacophony of crunches and cracks, Piper drove her feet an unlucky merman.

“But then this guy shows up trying to assassinate him.” Kaden hooked a thumb at Richter, who was doing his best to stay out of the way. “See what I’m saying?”

“A little distracted here, Kaden. Not the best time for critical thinking.”

Ducking low, Piper narrowly avoided the sting of a webbed claw. As she ducked, the soldier pivoted on her heel and grove a gauntleted fist into the nearest knee she could find. With a sickening gurgle, a merman crumbled to the ground, his leg bent in a direction it was obviously not meant to.

“Ok, fine, I’ll slow it down for the rest of the class.” Kaden leaned out from behind his barrier to fire off a few bursts of energy. He slipped back behind the defensive screen just as Piper found the time to shoot him a glare. “Gamer says he made all of this and threw us into these events. We’re supposed to be performing for his entertainment, or whatever. So why would he send someone to kill the person we’re supposed to be cooking for?”

“I was sent by no one!” Richter objected. He was promptly ignored.

“That’s what you were thinking about?”

Piper hopped into the air, planting her feet against the face whatever hapless soul had been standing in front of her. Once again using her legs to propel her, she shot backwards towards Kaden and incapacitated another attack at the same time. Quite the multitasker.

Kaden had to commend the woman’s awareness. As she catapulted away from the mermen, they swarmed on her location. Within seconds, she would have been overrun by their sheer numbers, a thought Kaden didn’t spend too much time on. With her no longer among their number, the courier would be able to do his thing with much less restraint.

“Not quite,” Kaden began to clarify as he watched Piper land a couple feet away. “I was thinking about what that could mean. I figure there are two possibilities. It could be some kind of… I dunno… side quest for the event; like we’d get some kind of bonus for completing it or maybe some extra monies.”

“And the other possibility?” Piper asked as she dusted herself off. To her relief, her shirt had largely dried.

“Gamer doesn’t have as much control over the world as he’d like us to think.”

There were definitely other thoughts running through the courier’s head, but he had vocalized the main ones. What he needed to focus on was getting through the quickly amassing horde of monstrous mermen shambling towards them. That they seemed awkward and uncomfortable on land was something all three humans were thankful for.

Dismissing his barrier with a flick of his wrist, Kaden was almost immediately overcome by jet streams of water. Swearing at himself for not anticipating such an obvious reaction to lowering his defenses, the courier Dashed away from both the blasts of water and Piper, not wanting to draw fire towards her. Skidding to a halt several yards away from his allies, Kaden’s eyes flashed with light as he activated his second Sight.

As many of the mermen turned to follow Kaden’s movements, the courier’s glowing eyes darted about the ground, searching hurriedly for the thing wisps of energy that flowed through the land beneath his feet. A brief flash of triumph flashed across his face as his locked onto a flow of energy. Dropping to one knee, the courier slammed his open palm against the ground.

Surging outward from his hand, Kaden watched as a burst of energy traveled through the ground, slipping beneath the feet of the countless mermen before Erupting from the ground. While the blast didn’t exactly send mermen flying in every direction, the group, as a whole, was disoriented enough to allow the courier and his companion some breathing room.

“Let’s get the hell out of here!” he called to his allies. Fortunately, they were one step ahead of him.

Grabbing Richter around the waist, the would-be vampire slayer stammered in protest as Piper soared through the air, planting herself beside Kaden once again. Setting down her extra baggage, Piper motioned for the others to follow her as she took off towards the exit at the other end of the cavern. As they raced towards their goal, however, piercing blasts of water shot past them.

Being both the slowest of the three, and the most prone to self sacrifice, Kaden ended up at the rear of the small party. His retreat, however, was cut short. With a cry of pain, the courier stumbled and flopped to the ground, several stalagmites digging at him as he tumbled awkwardly. Piper and Richter came to a halt upon hearing his scream.

Instinctively, Kaden reached down to his leg. Blood flowed freely from a sizeable hole that had been punched through his calf by an errant jet of water. He tried in vain to scramble to his feet, but all the accomplished was forcing another scream of pain from his mouth. As he flopped back to the ground, the courier rolled onto his back to face the oncoming mermen. Raising a blood-soaked hand, he fired off a blast of energy, but pain clouded his mind, making his aim and focus unsteady at best.

Before he realized what was happening, Piper had returned to Kaden’s side and lifted from the ground. Leaning his weight against her, the courier hobbled alongside the soldier as quickly as his injury would allow. Unfortunately, that wasn’t particularly quick. The path behind them, skirting along the edges of the lake, was quickly filling with mermen, all of whom seemed intent on punishing anyone foolish enough to come near their underground lake-cavern-thingie.

Trying to quicken his pace, Kaden’s foot caught a rock, pulling both him and Piper to the ground. Both blondes swore, though one more out of pain than anything else. As he tried to get to his feet, Kaden heard the soft clack of something falling from his jacket pocket. Looking back, he saw and odd, red-and-white… ball. Following his gaze, Piper’s eyes lit up upon seeing the orb.

Without stopping to explain, Piper leapt towards the small device, throwing herself painfully on top of her wounded ally. As Kaden expressed just how he felt about such an action, the medic’s thumbs jammed upon the lone button on the ball’s surface. Miraculously, the ball double in size as Piper hurled onto the path behind them. To the amazement of everyone present, the opened and emitted a blinding flash of white light. As the light dimmed, a deafening bellow resounded throughout the cavern.

“SNOOOOOOOOOORLAAAAAAAAX!”

“What the fuck is that?!” Kaden yelled at Piper, his ears ringing. “And why the hell was it in my pocket?!”

“How should I know?” Piper half-answered. Though she could have elaborated, time wasn’t exactly on their side.

Behind the retreating trio, the massive monster Snoralx sat directly between the mermen and their prey. His incredibly bulk completely blocked off their path, and he didn’t sound particularly thrilled about the surprised gurgles and irritating blasts of water being sent his way. As Piper half-carried Kaden, he half-turned to watch the beast in action. Reaching down, Snorlax grabbed one of the comparatively minute mermen and slammed his head violently into its face.

“Holy shit! That thing just headbutt one of those… other things,” Kaden marveled to his teammates. “What a badass!”

“Yes yes,” Piper replied, obviously more concerned about getting the courier to safety. “He’s like a fat Chuck Norris. Now c’mon.”

With Richter, suddenly the least encumbered of their team, leading the way, and Snorlax guarding their rear, making it through the exit was not much of a problem. Once they were out of sight of the merman’s cavern, Piper stopped and lowered Kaden to the ground, inspecting his leg as she did.

“There’s a lot of bleeding,” she said more to herself than anyone else. “I can’t really see the wound, though. Take off your pants,” the medic instructed.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Kaden replied weakly. He found himself trying to fight off the light-headed effects of blood loss. “You can just, like, tear off the pant leg or something, right?”

Before Piper could ensure Kaden of her seriousness, Richter appeared by her side, pulling a knife from his boot. Quickly and carefully the man cut through the courier’s black jeans just below the knee. Quickly expressing thanks, the medic took the severed piece of pant leg and tore it into strips, fashioning a make-shift bandage to help stem her ally’s bleeding. With that done, the three took a moment to collect themselves.

“I got that ball-thing from a mystery capsule back at the Carnival,” Kaden answered the question in Piper’s eyes. “Had no idea what it was, though.”

“Well it’s a good thing you had it,” Piper replied. “Things could have gotten real ugly real fast. Did you pick up any of those… things?” she turned to ask Richter.

“I have performed the tasks set before me,” the hunter replied with a shallow bow. “I couldn’t refuse the request of a lady.”

“What do we have so far?” Kaden asked from his seat on the floor.

Clearing his throat, Richter pulled a bright orange sack from his shoulder. After dispatching the ogre, it had become quite clear that lugging around an entire arm while trying to fight off the countless horrors that lurked around them wasn’t going to work very well. At Piper’s suggestion, Richter had retrieved Piper’s discarded apron and used it to fashion a kind pack in which he was carrying an assortment of monster pieces. It was actually a very disgusting sight to see body parts spill from their container.

Picking through the lumps of flesh, the vampire hunter, who seemed quite knowledgeable on the monsters found in the castle’s depths, began naming their prizes. There was, of course, the ogre’s arm, the haunches of a Minotaur, flank of a griffin, headless body of a giant snake, bust of a medusa, and finally the head of a merman. Any of the pieces that had been too big to carry had been cut into more manageable pieces with quick bursts of Kaden’s ki. Though he was intelligent and able-bodies, Richter admitted his efficacy in combat was limited without the Vampire Killer whip so the task of gruesome task of collecting and carrying dismembered body parts fell to him.

“I would like to ask a favor,” Richter began as he reassembled the sack of ingredients. “Though I know I am in no position to demand anything, with your assistance I could rid this land the blight upon it and free the enslaved from their demonic master.”

“Get the whip. Kill the king,” Kaden summarized.

“Precisely. The two of you are to serve the king himself. Under the guise of your aide, access to the throne would be mine, and the Vampire Killer within my reach. From there I can complete the task I failed at before.”

“What do you think?” Kaden asked Piper.

“Well,” the woman sighed. “I guess I could use a Sous Chef.”

“There you have it,” Kaden smiled at Richter, pained though it was. “The lady gets what the lady wants.”

“I am deeply indebted to the both of you.” Again Richter bowed.

Before anymore words could be spoken, though, both Piper and Kaden began to glow with an ethereal light. Though Richter was shocked by the sudden occurrence, neither chef was. Though his cell phone got no kind of reception, it had been useful at letting Piper and Kaden track how much of their sixty minutes remained. With their Quickfire Challenge over, they were being called back to their kitchen. Tossing the sack of monster parts to Kaden, Piper gripped Richter firmly by the arm. No sooner had she done that then the world around them vanished in a flash of light. When their sight returned, they were once again in the two-story kitchen, the lovely smile of Padma waiting to greet them.

“Looks like time’s up,” the hostess said as she looked from one chef to the other. “Time for the main event.”