The Carnival

[Victoria]

His words reverberated through her inner being, and she couldn’t help but reflect on each piece of advice he laid out before her. Victoria didn’t see this man as someone simple, everyday, he was beyond that. She looked up at him, into his remaining eye, face in mild shock at the revelation. She could take his words, absorb them and grow into a better person. She could trust this man, perhaps even more than him, she believed. She didn’t deny the fact that she was naive, Vic knew her limits. However, this seasoned vet had experience, probably more than Jeremy, and this was something she couldn’t just ignore.

Her eyes followed his hand, it left her knee, and she stared as the lingering warmth dissipated. She leaned back against the bench, and felt as if something had surfaced. She couldn’t ignore such advice, and let the seeds of hate consume her. She smiled curtly, knowing that Gamers death was definitely on the agenda. So, then, when is revenge appropriate? She wondered, and looked up again. Her lips parted, and she dared to ask, but no words came out. She leaned forward slightly and looked down at her hands in her lap while her cheeks reddened.

At some point I’ll become a nuisance, that’s how it works. She closed her eyes as a cold breeze drifted past them. Her hair moved against her face, and a few delicate strands remained astray. She opened her eyes and leaned back, a soft smile gracing her lips. “Have you have watched the stars?” She asked suddenly, and the Saiyan looked at her curiously.

“In what way?” He replied, not sure of her question.

“Like this, well, if there were any,” she raised a hand and pointed towards the sky. “Back home, whenever I had a mission that took over twenty-four hours, I would watch the stars.” She kept her eyes on the black sky, imagining the sparking jewels hanging above them in their glory. “I did it more when I was younger, I would reach up,” her fingers grasped at the air, closing slowly, “and I would grab a handful of them. I’d keep them, something to hang onto.” She closed her eyes and grinned, however, she couldn’t stop the small tears that edged between her tightly shut eyelids. “I had nothing to hang onto. I had to think of ways to be happy, it’s hard to be happy inside.” She dropped her hand into her lap suddenly and wiped at the wetness in her eyes with her other hand.

“If you want to catch stars, you should leave Earth,” Orion spoke into the silence, but he didn’t look at her. “You can imagine catching stars, and then you can go and really catch them. I’m probably the worst person to give advice on this, but if you have to imagine happiness, do you want to keep living like that?” He asked.

“No, I don’t, and yet,” she paused and held her hands out in front of her, “I’m not ready for that.” She flexed her fingers carefully in and out. “I have to keep training. They let me get taken, and I get it, because this has made me stronger. So, then, I have to keep training. I can still learn more, and once I do,” her hands snapped shut completely into fists and her face contorted into a scowl.

“Whoa, hey, didn’t I just say something about revenge,” Orion interjected.

“When I was younger I was disciplined to keep my mouth shut. Questions were for children. As I gained respect, became powerful, I found that I could at least speak out against Jeremy. Yet…when I was young,” she shook her head for a moment, “I was a bother. If I was to remain a slave, all I wanted was answers. I wouldn’t get any answers so I would get upset and thrown into isolation. I learned to keep my questions to myself.” She looked up at the veteran and her gaze softened. “Everyone here is different, and yet, I held my question back when I wanted to ask you something. I’m confused, is it because of my training, or because I respect you? I don’t know.” She shrugged lightly

“Victoria,” Orion hesitated and pursed his lips for a moment, “you can ask me questions; you’ve already asked me plenty, nothing’s changed.”

“You’re right, that’s why I’m confused as to why I would hold back. Maybe I like you.” She didn’t look at him, but the silence settled like a fine dust around them. “You know…because you’re nice.” She chuckled lightly and tilted forward. “I’ll ask you anyway, forget all of that,” she held up a hand and shook her head quickly.

“What! She likes you, old boy!” The hamster chimed in and looked up at the two sitting beside him. Victoria looked down and moved her hand; she pressed her index finger against the animal’s top hat, and began to push down.

“I could kill you in one fluid motion, if you’d prefer.” She said this stoically, her face void of emotion.

“Oh my,” the hamster trembled slightly, “my sincerest apologies.” The rodent shuffled and Victoria lifted her finger. He leapt onto Orion’s lap and moved across until he was perched on his knee, far from Vic and her finger. He babbled about something, but she cut his voice out and leaned back against the bench again.

“When is revenge okay,” she asked the silence. Another soft breeze brushed against them, and her hair drifted in front of her wide eyes.

“It depends on the situation I suppose.” Orion replied, all the while he attempted to ignore his small companions mumbling. “Are we still talking about Gamer? We’re definitely going to kill him.”

“I’m wondering.” She rested her hands behind her head and stared into the void of space above them. “You told me about revenge, and…well I’m naturally curious, so I decided just to ask. You say not to give into revenge, and then you say we’re going to kill Gamer. So, what makes that revenge okay?” She asked.

“Well, it’s inevitable. If we want to live we have to kill him, that’s how it works.” He explained.

“So, if I dislike someone…so much so that I’d want revenge for what they’ve done, I should only do it if my life is at stake?” She asked, eerily calm.

“I suppose in a way that would be right.” He responded. “I can only tell you what I told you earlier, it’s not something to dwell on. If you’re going to get revenge, only you can decide if it’s what you really want to do. I’m just warning you.”

“So I either accept it or fight it.” She concluded.

“Not necessarily.” Orion replied. “There are always other options; nothing is ever one or the other. Just because something seems hopeless, doesn’t mean it is.”

“You’re wise.” She tilted her head and looked over at the Saiyan. “I can go and catch stars.” She looked at the ground then closed her eyes.

”Childish things,” his voice was cold and harsh. “You know better, you’ll be molded into the perfect Hunter, which means you must leave those things behind.” He grabbed the item from her, and the tears began to form in her eyes. Even at fourteen, she needed this one thing, the only connection to her father.

“Stop it, James,” a voice snapped, “she’s still a child.”

“What do you care? She’s mine now, and my recruits don’t covet material items. She’s fresh from the butcher shop, and I won’t have her tainted more than she already is.” The man spat.

She gripped the soft item, clinging to it as if her life depended on it. It did, for all she knew, this was all she had left. “G-give it back.” She spoke through clenched teeth, and glared up towards the bright lights and silhouetted man.

“You need to be disciplined, you have no right to speak to me,” intense pain hit her, his hand slammed into her cheek and she flew off of her bed and across the floor. She cried out and held her stinging cheek. The tears trickled down her cheeks and she sobbed. “Nothing but a brat, and to think she made it out of Limbo.” James held the teddy bear in his hand and stared down at her coldly. “You have the power; I’ll make you use it properly.”

“I-I don’t want this…” Victoria muttered and shook upon the ground. “Leave me alone.” She pressed her palms to her face.

James walked over to her and reached down; he gripped her by her shirt and held her in the air. He tossed the teddy bear aside and raised his hand. “I don’t tolerate insolence.” He snarled and flexed his hand to hit her.

“That’s enough.” That voice again, it sliced through the air, and James’ hand was held back by another. Victoria opened her eyes, which had been screwed shut. “I thought this would be the best option, but now I’m starting to see that you’re unfit to train her.” James fought against the hold and he glared at his superior.

“Let me go, Jeremy, you know how I train my recruits.” He argued.

“I thought you would be more lenient, considering…” He looked at Victoria; she gripped at James’ hand gripping the collar of her shirt. She struggled uselessly to get free, and it broke his heart. “No, now I see that I was wrong all along.” He pulled on the trainers arm. “Let her go.”

James dropped Victoria and she snatched up the teddy bear before retreating towards the other side of the bed. “You came to me, don’t you forget that, you could have gone to anyone else.” The man pointed a finger at Jeremy in anger. “You’ve just wasted my time.”

“I wonder,” Jeremy held up a hand, “what happened? I thought I’d do you a favor by giving you such a talented recruit. You never used to be so ruthless.” He asked.

“It’s none of your business, I’m done here.” He pushed past Jeremy and stepped into the hall. “If I were you I’d watch what you do, Jeremy, things have changed and will continue to change whether you like it or not. I don’t want that brat; she’ll be useless in the end.” He left then, leaving behind a veil of silence.

Vic held the bear close, and she nestled her face into the fur. She didn’t want that man, she would have gone back into isolation and Limbo if it meant being away from him. She looked up wearily to the sight of Jeremy kneeling over her with an outstretched hand.

“It was meant to be, anyway,” he spoke and looked into her teary eyes, “I thought it would have been better that way but I was wrong. Well, I can’t always be right, can I, Victoria?” He smiled at her and she looked away. “You don’t remember me?” He withdrew his hand and stared at her.

“No,” she didn’t look at him. She sniffed slightly, no longer sobbing. It was a good sign, regardless.

“I’m not surprised; you probably mentally blocked most of it.” He tapped her on the head. “I’m going to be your friend here, okay?” He then tapped the bear on the head. “You can keep him; too, I know how much he means to you.”

She looked towards Jeremy in awe. “Really?” She asked, clutching the bear.

“As long as you work very hard for me, and do as I say, you can have him.” He nodded but gave her a stern glare. “I expect nothing but the best, okay?” He smiled then and messed her hair.

“You’re much better than that other man.” She concluded and let down her guard.

Jeremy didn’t know if it had been a good idea or not, all he knew was that he cared about Victoria. He couldn’t know for sure as to why, maybe because of her mother, but he couldn’t let her face pain and hopelessness all at once. He would have to train her to be the best, regardless of his title, some exceptions could be made.

“Victoria?” She felt her body shaking, and a poking against her eyelid. She opened her eyes wearily. In front of her was a giant hamster, which made her scream and jump in freight.

“Oh! I think I scared her, what!” The hamster jumped off of Orion’s knee and onto the bench beside him. Victoria held a hand to her brow and looked from the hamster to the Saiyan.

“You fell over, onto my lap,” he looked away awkwardly. “I tried to wake you up, and then the rodent poked you in the eye.”

“And you let him?” She asked in shock.

“You were…on my lap.” He shrugged helplessly. “Did you fall asleep?” He asked.

“I don’t know, I think so, I don’t even know how long we’ve been here.” She sighed and sat down on the bench again. “S-sorry about that.” She muttered and smiled at him in discomfort.