04-13-2010, 02:19 PM
Orion slapped himself in the face and kept it buried in his palm. The situation had shifted from mind numbingly boring to haphazardly random in a matter of minutes. He tried to retrace the series of events that led him here, although the starting and ending points were so bizarrely unrelated that the mere thought brought him to frustration. First Kaden and himself were staring uselessly into each other's eyes in a room so white they could've been enclosed inside a rigorously brushed tooth and now they were commandeering an AI controlled galleon racing beside another mismatched motley crew of losers. Gamer had even been so characteristically idiotic as to provide a cutesy turtle/cloud hybrid to commence the race.
Why me? I just wanted to kill things.
As soon as the levitating traffic lights dangling from the chelonian's fishing rod appeared, Orion knew it was some time wasting sprint to the finish over the choppy waves of ... wherever the hell Gamer threw them. Again, the cyclopean warrior sighed with heavy resignation. The single thread of hope he grasped so tightly was to win this pointless tournament so that even a sliver of a chance to murder Gamer with his own trachea would present itself. Thus, his inclusion in the seaworthy crew was sealed, despite his first instinct to hurl himself off board and will the water into his lungs so that he could return to the afterlife. If this wasn't the final insult, then Orion would have to let his imagination marinate in torturous, sickening ways to fatally wound Gamer.
The brigantine's artificial intelligence had been waxing indecipherable for quite a while now. On hearing his first jumbled, cryptic dialect, Orion attempted to unravel the true meaning behind the regional colloquialisms. Failing and failing hard without a whisper of conversance, he opted to tune out the robot's ramblings. Eventually his excitement reached fever pitch, the tone and urgency of his orders the only reason Orion perked up his ears.
He ignored everything before "so leave me in the saddle and get on them overgrown boomsticks." The beginning of the sentence was understandable; a saddle was the position for the director of a wild animal, so the AI obviously had intentions of helming the galleon to victory. His mention of "overgrown boomsticks" had him baffled, however. What was a boomstick? How was he supposed to "get on them?"
Orion parted his lips to berate the hindering language of Jonas before a familiar little fellow popped out from his robe, clambering up the onyx chest plate before finding a comfortable spot on his wide shoulders.
"What did I miss, old chap?" Sprinkles asked, more enthusiastic than ever.
The idea of flicking the space hamster into the depths of the ocean was an appealing one, but maybe he knew something. "Tell me, hamster. What's a boomstick?"
"Boomstick, eh?" he repeated, leaning on his cane. His beady eyes looked out over the deck. "Why, I'd wager it's those cannons pointing at the enemy ship, what!"
Sure enough, the other contestants were legging it to the side of the brigantine, grasping the bulbous end of the cannons with both hands to advocate better aiming. A silver lighter rested by each armament for lighting the wick that coiled upwards from their tops.
Sprinkles hopped down from the heights of Orion's shoulders and scampered along the ground, heading towards the bow. "I'll spend some quality time with this here AI, old bean! Good luck and all that!"
Before the saiyan could open his mouth in protest, the top hat wearing space hamster was by the torso of Jonas, conversing about the mystery of their existence, no doubt. Orion shrugged off the rodent's abandonment and jogged over to the remaining unmanned cannon. He happened to be situated between Kaden and Victoria, both of whom he surprisingly expected to be of some benefit in this mad sea dash. Kaden had proven his ability to think fast on his feet, moving seamlessly with the flow of the present, no matter where it took him. He was human and enfeebled compared to himself, of course, but he was heads and shoulders over the rest of that fetid gene pool.
Victoria was in the same boat, pardon the pun. Her heritage of humanity aside, she possessed a sharp mind, reflexes and experiences of a master bounty hunter, giving her an edge on almost everyone who was on the ship. She gave him a friendly smirk. Orion couldn't help but return it.
The cloud surfing turtle chirped loudly, garnering the crew's attention. The traffic lights illuminated in turn; the top light shone red, swiftly followed by the amber hue of the middle, and then the green signalled the beginning of the race.
"Go!" it squeaked before ascending into the sky and out of sight.
The entire group almost toppled over sideways from the abrupt and inexplicably instant acceleration of Jonas. Ashe almost lost her footing, but Kaden grabbed her arm, hoisting her back into a standing position. The rest were alert enough to lean against their cannons for support until the disorienting effects of sudden velocity faded. The opposing ship took off like a rocket as well, maintaining a negligible lead which see-sawed back and forth between the two competing vessels.
Orion snatched up his lighter, giving the small cog a curt flick and birthing a perfect flame into life. He examined the enemy galleon, searching for a strategic section to plough a cannonball through. His eye wandered until a shock of black hair entangled his train of thought. There was something vaguely reminiscent of that untamed mane flapping in the wind currents. Until he turned about, Orion wouldn't have guessed who it was.
Raditzu. The name almost burst forth from his memory. Every saiyan of his demographic worth his salt knew the name of the long haired warrior. Raditzu was one of the best saiyan elites the army ever had, crafting and honing his abilities to above saiyan levels, most notably his speed. No one on Vegeta-sei could outrun the spiky hairdo thicket, even when he was intoxicated. Orion then dwelled on the last memories he had of Raditzu; his disappearance. One day, he left the saiyan elites behind, possibly endeavouring to challenge an opponent worthy of his strength. That was the last he ever heard of him until now.
"...ion! Orion!" Victoria's shrill words punctuated through his ear drums.
"What? What!?" he defended harshly.
"Start shooting!" she yelled in frustration for around the seventh time. "Aren't you listening?"
"Hmpf," Orion grunted. Raditzu may be the ne plus ultra for every aspiring saiyan warrior to assume one day, but such prestigious statuses meant nothing on the battlefield, and even less in Gamer's freakish digital land. Orion held the lighter against the wick of his cannon, rolled the barrel towards Raditzu in the hopes of braining the biggest threat on the adversary galleon and held it steady, waiting for the gunpowder to combust.
===
"I say, marvelous day for a bit of yacht racing, what?" Sprinkles chatted away, staring out over the rushing crests of water that crashed against the hull.
"Howdy doo, little buddy!" Jonas exclaimed in what the space hamster presumed was an answer in the affirmative.
A violent wave rocked the brigantine. Sprinkles, totally unaware of the imminent hit, wobbled to and fro to maintain his balance.
"Whoa there, little fella!" the AI cowboy shouted. "Yer 'bout to fall off the horse if you're not more careful!"
"I say!" the furry guinea pig announced weakly, watching his diamond studded cane spin off the side of the deck and plunge into the sea. "Choppy waters, what?" He abruptly fell to his knees, pressing one paw against his stomach.
"Feelin' a little green 'round the gills?" Jonas supposed.
"Rather," came the hamster's reply. His head lurched forward, his stomach protesting at the unfavourable conditions, but he managed to stay its distress. "Feeling a little under the weather, what."
Before Jonas could form another witty retort, Sprinkles burped noisily, expelling a string of ones and zeros that ascended floated like a plastic bag trapped in a whirlwind. His beady eyes widened. "I say, that can't be good. Say old chap, what does it mean when my paw is tingling?"
"Tingling? Why, you been in the cactus patch?"
"I say, never!" Sprinkles' indignation was replaced with intensifying fear as he felt the sensation spread throughout his entire body. "I don't like where this is going, old bean."
===
Here was a welcome opportunity. Blast a cavity through one of the more respected and revered saiyan warriors from Orion's time with no repercussions. Sure, it was restricted to a frivolous sea voyage and it was only valid within some demented human's computer application, but he would take what he could get. A simulation of the real thing was just as good as the real thing, he told himself. He cradled the flame and touched it to the wick long enough for the heat to transfer. The spark chewed through the rope, winding down the coil and closer to the ignition. Orion adjusted the cannon's aim, making sure the long haired saiyan would be reduced to a pile of limbs. He waited with bated breath as the spark consumed the wick and entered the cannon. The line of sight was immaculate. Orion chuckled to himself.
Suddenly, the galleon jerked forward violently, as if a huge weight descended upon the bow. The perfectly timed cannon shot went astray, piercing through the waves half a metre before the enemy boat. Orion, however, was less concerned with the missed shot and more concerned with the massive beast that was sprawled on the deck, subsequently sinking the brigantine's bow and the entire ship with it.
"Whoa!" Kaden cried, pushing his body weight against the side of the cannon to prevent a slippery slide into the water. "Where did that come from?"
Orion would have been in a similar quandary if not for the monocle the size of a monster truck wheel worn by the monster. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Sprinkles?!"
The space hamster wasn't a hamster any more. His new shape was an amalgamation of a dragon with guinea pig features. Fur guarded its body instead of scale, no lengthy whip like tail extended from its back, and besides its teeth filled snout, Sprinkles' face was unchanged. A set of imposing wings unfolded from its back.
"Get the hell off the boat, you cockney bastard!" Orion scorned. "You'll kill us all?"
"Oh, I do say!" he declared in shock, flapping into the air. "I am ever so sorry for the trouble."
"How did you do -- never mind, I don't want to know," Orion cut himself off, taking position by the cannon as Jonas restabilised. The opposing galleon took advantage of the interruption, striding a distance ahead. The cyclopean soldier rotated the cannon forward, but the expanse between the two ships was too great for him to spot Raditzu with any certainty. He huffed, hoping that Jonas was capable of catching up.
Sprinkles soared ahead, enjoying the change of pace. Transitioning from scurrying along the ground, constantly fearful of feet treading all around him to the opposite end of the spectrum, sailing through the skies as an imposing, fire breathing dragon was exhilarating. He felt a pang of remorse for the detrimental effects his unexplained transformation brought to the brigantine of Orion's. As he cleaved through clouds with ease, he pondered if his new form would be of any assistance.
"I say!" he remarked to himself. "Capital idea!"
The space hamster-dragon narrowed his wings against his body, falling into a fantastic velocity. He swooped down over the enemy galleon, performing a pass while a collection of red and orange flames danced joyously between his fanged teeth. A generous application of fire would certainly assist his friend.
Sparkles spun around once more and changed course, flying directly towards the enemy ship's bow. The inferno within his maw was begging to be released, lashing out between his furry lips, and he was happy to oblige. With one final exertion, the race would be over.
He opened his snout, forcing the flames from his throat, but nothing but a string of binary digits escaped. Sparkles frowned in bewilderment before an unpleasant but familiar tingling vibrated throughout his dragon body.
In another absurd metamorphosis, Orion watched the airborne Sprinkles become obscured by a powdery shroud of smoke before emerging from the other end as a helpless trout, sporting a monocle and top hat.
The saiyan facepalmed. Should've drowned him when I had the chance.
Why me? I just wanted to kill things.
As soon as the levitating traffic lights dangling from the chelonian's fishing rod appeared, Orion knew it was some time wasting sprint to the finish over the choppy waves of ... wherever the hell Gamer threw them. Again, the cyclopean warrior sighed with heavy resignation. The single thread of hope he grasped so tightly was to win this pointless tournament so that even a sliver of a chance to murder Gamer with his own trachea would present itself. Thus, his inclusion in the seaworthy crew was sealed, despite his first instinct to hurl himself off board and will the water into his lungs so that he could return to the afterlife. If this wasn't the final insult, then Orion would have to let his imagination marinate in torturous, sickening ways to fatally wound Gamer.
The brigantine's artificial intelligence had been waxing indecipherable for quite a while now. On hearing his first jumbled, cryptic dialect, Orion attempted to unravel the true meaning behind the regional colloquialisms. Failing and failing hard without a whisper of conversance, he opted to tune out the robot's ramblings. Eventually his excitement reached fever pitch, the tone and urgency of his orders the only reason Orion perked up his ears.
He ignored everything before "so leave me in the saddle and get on them overgrown boomsticks." The beginning of the sentence was understandable; a saddle was the position for the director of a wild animal, so the AI obviously had intentions of helming the galleon to victory. His mention of "overgrown boomsticks" had him baffled, however. What was a boomstick? How was he supposed to "get on them?"
Orion parted his lips to berate the hindering language of Jonas before a familiar little fellow popped out from his robe, clambering up the onyx chest plate before finding a comfortable spot on his wide shoulders.
"What did I miss, old chap?" Sprinkles asked, more enthusiastic than ever.
The idea of flicking the space hamster into the depths of the ocean was an appealing one, but maybe he knew something. "Tell me, hamster. What's a boomstick?"
"Boomstick, eh?" he repeated, leaning on his cane. His beady eyes looked out over the deck. "Why, I'd wager it's those cannons pointing at the enemy ship, what!"
Sure enough, the other contestants were legging it to the side of the brigantine, grasping the bulbous end of the cannons with both hands to advocate better aiming. A silver lighter rested by each armament for lighting the wick that coiled upwards from their tops.
Sprinkles hopped down from the heights of Orion's shoulders and scampered along the ground, heading towards the bow. "I'll spend some quality time with this here AI, old bean! Good luck and all that!"
Before the saiyan could open his mouth in protest, the top hat wearing space hamster was by the torso of Jonas, conversing about the mystery of their existence, no doubt. Orion shrugged off the rodent's abandonment and jogged over to the remaining unmanned cannon. He happened to be situated between Kaden and Victoria, both of whom he surprisingly expected to be of some benefit in this mad sea dash. Kaden had proven his ability to think fast on his feet, moving seamlessly with the flow of the present, no matter where it took him. He was human and enfeebled compared to himself, of course, but he was heads and shoulders over the rest of that fetid gene pool.
Victoria was in the same boat, pardon the pun. Her heritage of humanity aside, she possessed a sharp mind, reflexes and experiences of a master bounty hunter, giving her an edge on almost everyone who was on the ship. She gave him a friendly smirk. Orion couldn't help but return it.
The cloud surfing turtle chirped loudly, garnering the crew's attention. The traffic lights illuminated in turn; the top light shone red, swiftly followed by the amber hue of the middle, and then the green signalled the beginning of the race.
"Go!" it squeaked before ascending into the sky and out of sight.
The entire group almost toppled over sideways from the abrupt and inexplicably instant acceleration of Jonas. Ashe almost lost her footing, but Kaden grabbed her arm, hoisting her back into a standing position. The rest were alert enough to lean against their cannons for support until the disorienting effects of sudden velocity faded. The opposing ship took off like a rocket as well, maintaining a negligible lead which see-sawed back and forth between the two competing vessels.
Orion snatched up his lighter, giving the small cog a curt flick and birthing a perfect flame into life. He examined the enemy galleon, searching for a strategic section to plough a cannonball through. His eye wandered until a shock of black hair entangled his train of thought. There was something vaguely reminiscent of that untamed mane flapping in the wind currents. Until he turned about, Orion wouldn't have guessed who it was.
Raditzu. The name almost burst forth from his memory. Every saiyan of his demographic worth his salt knew the name of the long haired warrior. Raditzu was one of the best saiyan elites the army ever had, crafting and honing his abilities to above saiyan levels, most notably his speed. No one on Vegeta-sei could outrun the spiky hairdo thicket, even when he was intoxicated. Orion then dwelled on the last memories he had of Raditzu; his disappearance. One day, he left the saiyan elites behind, possibly endeavouring to challenge an opponent worthy of his strength. That was the last he ever heard of him until now.
"...ion! Orion!" Victoria's shrill words punctuated through his ear drums.
"What? What!?" he defended harshly.
"Start shooting!" she yelled in frustration for around the seventh time. "Aren't you listening?"
"Hmpf," Orion grunted. Raditzu may be the ne plus ultra for every aspiring saiyan warrior to assume one day, but such prestigious statuses meant nothing on the battlefield, and even less in Gamer's freakish digital land. Orion held the lighter against the wick of his cannon, rolled the barrel towards Raditzu in the hopes of braining the biggest threat on the adversary galleon and held it steady, waiting for the gunpowder to combust.
===
"I say, marvelous day for a bit of yacht racing, what?" Sprinkles chatted away, staring out over the rushing crests of water that crashed against the hull.
"Howdy doo, little buddy!" Jonas exclaimed in what the space hamster presumed was an answer in the affirmative.
A violent wave rocked the brigantine. Sprinkles, totally unaware of the imminent hit, wobbled to and fro to maintain his balance.
"Whoa there, little fella!" the AI cowboy shouted. "Yer 'bout to fall off the horse if you're not more careful!"
"I say!" the furry guinea pig announced weakly, watching his diamond studded cane spin off the side of the deck and plunge into the sea. "Choppy waters, what?" He abruptly fell to his knees, pressing one paw against his stomach.
"Feelin' a little green 'round the gills?" Jonas supposed.
"Rather," came the hamster's reply. His head lurched forward, his stomach protesting at the unfavourable conditions, but he managed to stay its distress. "Feeling a little under the weather, what."
Before Jonas could form another witty retort, Sprinkles burped noisily, expelling a string of ones and zeros that ascended floated like a plastic bag trapped in a whirlwind. His beady eyes widened. "I say, that can't be good. Say old chap, what does it mean when my paw is tingling?"
"Tingling? Why, you been in the cactus patch?"
"I say, never!" Sprinkles' indignation was replaced with intensifying fear as he felt the sensation spread throughout his entire body. "I don't like where this is going, old bean."
===
Here was a welcome opportunity. Blast a cavity through one of the more respected and revered saiyan warriors from Orion's time with no repercussions. Sure, it was restricted to a frivolous sea voyage and it was only valid within some demented human's computer application, but he would take what he could get. A simulation of the real thing was just as good as the real thing, he told himself. He cradled the flame and touched it to the wick long enough for the heat to transfer. The spark chewed through the rope, winding down the coil and closer to the ignition. Orion adjusted the cannon's aim, making sure the long haired saiyan would be reduced to a pile of limbs. He waited with bated breath as the spark consumed the wick and entered the cannon. The line of sight was immaculate. Orion chuckled to himself.
Suddenly, the galleon jerked forward violently, as if a huge weight descended upon the bow. The perfectly timed cannon shot went astray, piercing through the waves half a metre before the enemy boat. Orion, however, was less concerned with the missed shot and more concerned with the massive beast that was sprawled on the deck, subsequently sinking the brigantine's bow and the entire ship with it.
"Whoa!" Kaden cried, pushing his body weight against the side of the cannon to prevent a slippery slide into the water. "Where did that come from?"
Orion would have been in a similar quandary if not for the monocle the size of a monster truck wheel worn by the monster. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Sprinkles?!"
The space hamster wasn't a hamster any more. His new shape was an amalgamation of a dragon with guinea pig features. Fur guarded its body instead of scale, no lengthy whip like tail extended from its back, and besides its teeth filled snout, Sprinkles' face was unchanged. A set of imposing wings unfolded from its back.
"Get the hell off the boat, you cockney bastard!" Orion scorned. "You'll kill us all?"
"Oh, I do say!" he declared in shock, flapping into the air. "I am ever so sorry for the trouble."
"How did you do -- never mind, I don't want to know," Orion cut himself off, taking position by the cannon as Jonas restabilised. The opposing galleon took advantage of the interruption, striding a distance ahead. The cyclopean soldier rotated the cannon forward, but the expanse between the two ships was too great for him to spot Raditzu with any certainty. He huffed, hoping that Jonas was capable of catching up.
Sprinkles soared ahead, enjoying the change of pace. Transitioning from scurrying along the ground, constantly fearful of feet treading all around him to the opposite end of the spectrum, sailing through the skies as an imposing, fire breathing dragon was exhilarating. He felt a pang of remorse for the detrimental effects his unexplained transformation brought to the brigantine of Orion's. As he cleaved through clouds with ease, he pondered if his new form would be of any assistance.
"I say!" he remarked to himself. "Capital idea!"
The space hamster-dragon narrowed his wings against his body, falling into a fantastic velocity. He swooped down over the enemy galleon, performing a pass while a collection of red and orange flames danced joyously between his fanged teeth. A generous application of fire would certainly assist his friend.
Sparkles spun around once more and changed course, flying directly towards the enemy ship's bow. The inferno within his maw was begging to be released, lashing out between his furry lips, and he was happy to oblige. With one final exertion, the race would be over.
He opened his snout, forcing the flames from his throat, but nothing but a string of binary digits escaped. Sparkles frowned in bewilderment before an unpleasant but familiar tingling vibrated throughout his dragon body.
In another absurd metamorphosis, Orion watched the airborne Sprinkles become obscured by a powdery shroud of smoke before emerging from the other end as a helpless trout, sporting a monocle and top hat.
The saiyan facepalmed. Should've drowned him when I had the chance.
![[Image: OrionAug11.jpg]](http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b187/captain_civic/OrionAug11.jpg)