[C&C] Jayd

[Orion]

Jayd's a solid character. He's got a troubled past due to a rough father and the subsequent events that occurred because of that. I would've liked to see Jayd in his natural environment a little more before he was captured by the Company. While we have a good idea of who he is, seeing him living day to day before his abduction would have helped solidify his character a little more.

Your writing style is quite enjoyable. I especially liked the scene where Jayd is hosed down, I actually laughed at the thoughts running through his head.

So far it's good, but I need something to keep me hooked. I know it's all introduction and what not, and while I enjoy your writing, I'm hoping that further down the story arc I'll be attached a little more.