Consolidated Discussion of RPG Mechanics

[Vad]

I'll be completely honest. I love that this discussion has spurred so much activity on the boards as of late, but it's train wrecked my motivation. All of the discussion threads have just taken a Louisville slugger to my face in regards to being able to write.

What makes it worse is that it frustrates me to no end. I get mad. Furious even, that I can't write. I end up just throwing my keyboard or one of the many beer bottles around my desk at something.

In the past week I've flirted with giving up Vad several times. This discussion isn't all to blame. I had surgery in the middle of our (Me and Piper's) Namek thread in August. I picked up my Pokemon games and WoW during my recovery, because lets be honest, when you're in excruciating pain you need something to take your mind away from the realm of life. (Perk 5 helps too)

I want this place to resurrect, but this all annoys the living shit out of me because, be it for selfish reasons fine, I feel like I'm disgracing myself and Vad as I discuss radical change.

It makes me physically ill. I think about this and I feel absolutely fucking worthless. Maybe it's misplaced. It probably is, but I'm telling you how I feel whether or not it's justified or just me being a fool.

I feel like whatever I write from here forward until we either solve this or get active again is completely useless to the world and to Vad. I've been reading my old threads and I just can't besmirch my two beloved characters like that.