03-20-2011, 02:46 PM
Belle:
I loved your characterization and polished writing style. I don't see typos like everyone else (one of the problems I have with my own editing xD) so I can't really complain about that. I just feel like the quality of your writing was very strong. I liked your NPC for the most part and the humor of that action break was good.
However, you broke the action and pacing up in strange ways and it sort of threw me off. The first post seemed a bit dry (which I suffered from as well) and it took a while to get to the crux of the action which I think hurt you. I think all in all, the thing I would say to work on was that certain "clunky" feeling that carried in some places.
Aero:
I liked the way your carried the fight forward. You made it dynamic and pushed us through the movement of the battle really well. The pacing was a little weird in places, but over I think that was your strong point. Creative ways to fight with just a few abilities and a good understanding of how characters interact is a great thing.
I hate your OOC snippets. I shouldn't be told that, "This is like XYZ," I should read your work and be like, "Oh! This is like XYZ!" You seemed to struggle in a few places when you broke your groove, and that also interrupted the pace of the fight.
Overall, it was a fun read from both of you guys! I really enjoyed reading that fight and I hope you guys stay active so I can read more form both of you.
Final Judgement: Belle
I feel like even though Aero carried a lot of the battle, Belle's writing and the way he revealed character interaction and development was enough to tip it into his favor. Once again, close call, good fight.
I loved your characterization and polished writing style. I don't see typos like everyone else (one of the problems I have with my own editing xD) so I can't really complain about that. I just feel like the quality of your writing was very strong. I liked your NPC for the most part and the humor of that action break was good.
However, you broke the action and pacing up in strange ways and it sort of threw me off. The first post seemed a bit dry (which I suffered from as well) and it took a while to get to the crux of the action which I think hurt you. I think all in all, the thing I would say to work on was that certain "clunky" feeling that carried in some places.
Aero:
I liked the way your carried the fight forward. You made it dynamic and pushed us through the movement of the battle really well. The pacing was a little weird in places, but over I think that was your strong point. Creative ways to fight with just a few abilities and a good understanding of how characters interact is a great thing.
I hate your OOC snippets. I shouldn't be told that, "This is like XYZ," I should read your work and be like, "Oh! This is like XYZ!" You seemed to struggle in a few places when you broke your groove, and that also interrupted the pace of the fight.
Overall, it was a fun read from both of you guys! I really enjoyed reading that fight and I hope you guys stay active so I can read more form both of you.
Final Judgement: Belle
I feel like even though Aero carried a lot of the battle, Belle's writing and the way he revealed character interaction and development was enough to tip it into his favor. Once again, close call, good fight.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]