03-20-2011, 10:36 PM
Belle: This was not your best work. You seem a little rusty, which is something I entirely understand as I am in the same boat. Despite that you’re nothing if not consistent. Granted, the second half of your first post and the first half of your second post, as Piper said, were the strongest parts of your roleplays. But if I had to grade both of your posts numerically, I’d give them the same grade. Your description was a bit weak at times, but, as you probably know since I’ve said it a dozen times before this, I love your style and how you structure your posts. They feel very ‘DBZ-anime-ish’, for lack of a better term, and I dig that. Also the humor and Belle’s interactions with others was spot on. I enjoyed how you utilized the announcer. Good posts overall.
Aero: Your second post was one of your better pieces of work, in my opinion. I haven’t read much of your stuff recently, but I really, really enjoyed that. Conversely, I was not a huge fan of your first post. I’m also not a huge fan of the parenthesis. I enjoy your casual style and how you advance the post and the fight. You seem to have a very strong hold on Aero and I enjoyed how you wrote his interactions with Belle, as well as how you utilized the announcer and the crowd. You do a very good job of ‘painting the picture.’ There were a few lines in the first post I had to reread as they were unclear, but besides that I noted very few grammatical errors overall.
Vote: This fight was especially close. I enjoyed reading both writer’s posts and the fight as a whole was very enjoyable. Both writers did a superb job at navigating their environments. They used the crowd, the announcer and one another very effectively. That is something that always impresses me as one of my personal weaknesses is interactions with other player-characters.
On the one hand Belle was extremely consistent. He was like the baseball player who bats .350 every year and is always on base, just a workhorse. And on the other there was Aero, who was more like the ball player who bats .250 but cranks out homerun balls on a frequent enough basis to leave you in awe. Overall though, my vote goes to Belle as the totally body of his work in this fight was more impressive to me than Aero’s. Still, though, it was an incredibly impressive read from both sides and I hope both of you maintain your activity.
Aero: Your second post was one of your better pieces of work, in my opinion. I haven’t read much of your stuff recently, but I really, really enjoyed that. Conversely, I was not a huge fan of your first post. I’m also not a huge fan of the parenthesis. I enjoy your casual style and how you advance the post and the fight. You seem to have a very strong hold on Aero and I enjoyed how you wrote his interactions with Belle, as well as how you utilized the announcer and the crowd. You do a very good job of ‘painting the picture.’ There were a few lines in the first post I had to reread as they were unclear, but besides that I noted very few grammatical errors overall.
Vote: This fight was especially close. I enjoyed reading both writer’s posts and the fight as a whole was very enjoyable. Both writers did a superb job at navigating their environments. They used the crowd, the announcer and one another very effectively. That is something that always impresses me as one of my personal weaknesses is interactions with other player-characters.
On the one hand Belle was extremely consistent. He was like the baseball player who bats .350 every year and is always on base, just a workhorse. And on the other there was Aero, who was more like the ball player who bats .250 but cranks out homerun balls on a frequent enough basis to leave you in awe. Overall though, my vote goes to Belle as the totally body of his work in this fight was more impressive to me than Aero’s. Still, though, it was an incredibly impressive read from both sides and I hope both of you maintain your activity.
![[Image: alext.jpg]](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v234/waffuru/alext.jpg)