[BT1] Alexander Trafford v Shou Resolved

[Victoria]

I'm not going to read Sig's C&C so that I can try and give my own feel for the fight without basing off other people's thoughts.

Alex:

Honestly, I can't find much to complain about. I've written with you in Kill Town and it was a pleasure. You have a good handle on narrative writing (such as when you began your second post). You also do well in description, although, your fight scenes are a bit simple. It's lacking a little depth, but fighting can be like that. All I could say is that I found you used too many...what's the term...titles? Instead of using names you would say "the ninja-like warrior" or "The veteran psychokinetic". That's fine, but, you do it so much, it just felt sort of over-done. That might just be personal preference. I also noticed you do a lot of "show don't tell". Most people do, even I do at times. For example, reading "Alex lifted his white shirt’s sleeve in order to wipe away the brick-colored fluid" just didn't sit well. Perhaps a change in vocab would help, use more invoking words to describe things. Otherwise it's a tad dry.

Shou:

Well...your writing is interesting. It feels a bit abstract, but, for some reason I just couldn't follow what was going on. You had a few mistakes in grammar. At times I wasn't sure what was going on. You have a good grasp on describing certain things, just, it was sort of all over the place. It was vague in some places. I wasn't even sure who was who sometimes in your post.

Anyway, my vote goes to Alexander Trafford. He posted twice, and he really has a good handle on his writing style. Plus...I understood what was going on in his posts.

P.S. Victoria says you can buy her a drink any day ;D.