[BT1] Shane Warnock v Edward Reynolds Resolved

[Jarka]

I wrote in it a way that explained that he had used foresight in Alex's post when he crushed the mic. I thought that was written clear enough.

Every time I used foresight, I made it evident using italics, acompanied by a referal to the act that I actually used the ability.

I don't think you can use foresight in that manner. You can't use it to un-do an action that has already occurred. Since Edward's post was from Edward's POV, it doesn't make sense that Edward would be able to see Shane's foresight.

Edward:
Don't be afraid to vary the length of your paragraphs. The second post (and the first post, to a degree) had mostly the size paragraphs, which can get a bit repetitive in rhythm of a post (super nitpicky, I know) and make it more challenging for a reader to find their place. If, when scrolling through your post, you notice everything the same size, make a few adjustments to change it up - it's just a formatting change, for the most part. As usual, I enjoyed your writing - your comfort with writing as Cap'n Reynolds really shows. And, trapping a fist in Edward's ribcage is a horrifying mental image. Thanks for that.

Shane:
I do agree with Sigfried that some things weren't very clear, particularly the hallucination in the beginning. I think the problem was that your exposition was buried in the middle of a pretty long descriptive paragraph. Perhaps it would've been a bit clearer if it would have been:

Edward Reynolds flashed Shane Warnock a toothy grin and then his slick, gelled white hair darkened to brown. A black band formed on the end of his hair which grew into a ponytail. His facial structure changed, as did his body. The leather jacket formed into a black blazer, the leather top into a white shirt, the leather trousers into black trousers, the boots into crisp, clean black shoes.

The shades faded to reveal an identical version of Shane standing opposite him. The toothy grin faded into a serious expression while Shane’s mouth opened in shock.

This was the same person Shane had seen in his dreams over and over again. This was not a dream though because Shane was not asleep. He must have been hallucinated then, but why? He had never hallucinated before. He had smoked marijuana once, but that was as a teenager in secondary school.

Then you don't lose the exposition (Edward explicitly transformed into Shane) or the explanation/reaction (it's a hallucination) in the middle of description. You are right in saying that all of the information was there, I just think improving the formatting could have helped in this case.

In the end, I vote Edward Reynolds