03-24-2011, 02:15 AM
I'm digging it duuuude! I'm stoked you started writing (again?)
I mean, it's a little short, but what you have is great. Once again, I think the entire scene could have been expanded a bit more and made into a longer post, but it's hard for me to identify where because you did such a good job explaining what was going on. It had a very "prologue" feel which is probably a good thing, but if you were going for a "moment by moment" thing then I think you should really set your sights on bringing in some details.
I mean, it's a little short, but what you have is great. Once again, I think the entire scene could have been expanded a bit more and made into a longer post, but it's hard for me to identify where because you did such a good job explaining what was going on. It had a very "prologue" feel which is probably a good thing, but if you were going for a "moment by moment" thing then I think you should really set your sights on bringing in some details.
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