[BT1] Orion v Victoria Review

[John Doe]

Whew, it felt like I was reading the final round of the tournament, rather than a first round bout. It'll be tough. I became familiar with both of your writing because of the Invasion Saga, and neither of you disappointed me.

Orion: Hahahaha, I didn't know who or what Lekel was during your (awesome) super saiyan transformation scene, and it threw me for a loop until I looked it up in your roster. Boy do I feel stupid. As I mentioned before, I'm quite fond of the inner thoughts character narration stuff, and your posts are full of it. Good stuff. While I can't find where you can make improvements myself, I'm sure some of the more skilled writers can help you out there.

Victoria: I envy your ability to write description, which I myself loathe like no other (actually many others, apparently). The choice and flow of words are some of the best on the site (imo), and I helped me picture what was going on in my noggin. There were a few times when some sentences felt... weird to me. Like this one: "A sharp kick collided to her side whilst she remained flying backwards, now she flew to the side." Dunno what it was, but I felt something off when I read it. As well, there were some times when I felt you had unnecessary punctuation in your sentences.

Voting. Um... Well shit, I think Orion's stuff was very solid, but I also really enjoyed the description from Victoria. Fuck.

I'm going to vote Victoria, but you're both winners in my book (too cheesy?). More than likely going to vote for one of you when that "wildcard" thing pops up.