03-26-2011, 06:39 PM
Bah! They say Criticize people you are pretty sure are better then you...
Fucking hell...
Lol....
Orion.... Your first post was near perfection in my opinion. Everyone that has an Intro has made it their own, and you did something similiar. I'd have to wonder who went before you and who's RP's you read and ponder if it all fit, but who knows? Maybe it could fit? The sitting in a room and waiting had me wondering is all. You depicted your character greatly and had me eager about the droid thing, but also had me wondering if the droid was the half mechanical brain you mentioned. Second post you leave it all out. But your flow is great.
Victoria.. Maybe it's me... but I tihnk I saw 2-3 switches of flow. It was subtle and decent. But I think I saw it. I'm actually sure I saw it, but I tihnk you were trying to hard to make it, and that's why I saw it. Second post. I saw something that i noticed in the first post. You are describing to much and at times pushing it to far. You had 1500 limit. You could have cut the top half alot and made things alot more intersting.
Vote: Orion
Fucking hell...
Lol....
Orion.... Your first post was near perfection in my opinion. Everyone that has an Intro has made it their own, and you did something similiar. I'd have to wonder who went before you and who's RP's you read and ponder if it all fit, but who knows? Maybe it could fit? The sitting in a room and waiting had me wondering is all. You depicted your character greatly and had me eager about the droid thing, but also had me wondering if the droid was the half mechanical brain you mentioned. Second post you leave it all out. But your flow is great.
Victoria.. Maybe it's me... but I tihnk I saw 2-3 switches of flow. It was subtle and decent. But I think I saw it. I'm actually sure I saw it, but I tihnk you were trying to hard to make it, and that's why I saw it. Second post. I saw something that i noticed in the first post. You are describing to much and at times pushing it to far. You had 1500 limit. You could have cut the top half alot and made things alot more intersting.
Vote: Orion
![[Image: ChubbsMal.png]](http://i152.photobucket.com/albums/s174/havik_album/ChubbsMal.png)
Reb: ya know
Reb: I think you're a fucking moron OOC
Reb: but I have to hand it to you
Reb: you've become a really great writer