04-20-2011, 06:43 PM
I really liked this fight. I love seeing people that have history do BATTLE.
Belle:
Really cool classic anime feel to it, as always. I liked the way you framed it in a way that made me imagine the animation style and how it would look if it was ever made into a TV show. You write your character into your style very well.
You do have a tendency to sort of go off on tangents though, which hurts you when you have such a small word count limit. I really liked the scene and it framed the back and forth very well, made it philosophical and even MORE anime-like, but it was too long for the tournament. You also had a lot of paragraphs that were very similar in length (very very short) and it made your writing seem a little too choppy for me.
Trafford:
I love the detail that goes into your work. At times, you seem to forget how powerful that can be in your writing, and I think if you really put yourself in the moment you might pull them out with more consistency. Little things about your character make him real to me, he's not really just some kind of made up person somewhere when he's speaking or interacting most of the time. You're also pretty creative with your powers, which is a huge selling point for me.
You slip out of it sometimes, which is your biggest weakness. You can draw us into moments and feelings so frequently and then you inexplicably drop it, only to pick it back up again. I think if you had more time it wouldn't be like that.
I vote for Alexander Trafford on this one, but it was very close in my mind. I had to read it over a few times before I decided.
Belle:
Really cool classic anime feel to it, as always. I liked the way you framed it in a way that made me imagine the animation style and how it would look if it was ever made into a TV show. You write your character into your style very well.
You do have a tendency to sort of go off on tangents though, which hurts you when you have such a small word count limit. I really liked the scene and it framed the back and forth very well, made it philosophical and even MORE anime-like, but it was too long for the tournament. You also had a lot of paragraphs that were very similar in length (very very short) and it made your writing seem a little too choppy for me.
Trafford:
I love the detail that goes into your work. At times, you seem to forget how powerful that can be in your writing, and I think if you really put yourself in the moment you might pull them out with more consistency. Little things about your character make him real to me, he's not really just some kind of made up person somewhere when he's speaking or interacting most of the time. You're also pretty creative with your powers, which is a huge selling point for me.
You slip out of it sometimes, which is your biggest weakness. You can draw us into moments and feelings so frequently and then you inexplicably drop it, only to pick it back up again. I think if you had more time it wouldn't be like that.
I vote for Alexander Trafford on this one, but it was very close in my mind. I had to read it over a few times before I decided.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]