05-15-2011, 09:25 PM
I'm none too good at C&C, but I've given this thread a couple glances throughout the week.
Orsalis, I don't know what I expected from you, but it couldn't have been much. I was pretty sure Alex would just walk into the finals, walk all over you, and then walk out with another notch on his belt. I admit I was wrong. You brought a new light to your character in the first post and set a hasty, in-your-face pace for the remainder of the fight. I thought you captured Ace's character pretty well and inspired decent enough imagery with your writing. The whole 'xenos' thing threw me off and you had a couple grammatical errors stuffed in there:
The silk suddenly snapped out and wrapped around Orsalis’ neck, growing taught as Trafford landed and forcing the icer off of his feet. (Taught should be 'taut', minor shit.)
There's definitely some money quality in your writing in this fight. Orsalis' banter got repetitive in the second post, but I guess that's just his character I disagree with and if that's how you're developing him then more power to you.
Alex. You're one of my more favored writers on Chubbs and I get that the whole tournament critique agreements and downtime probably pissed you off more than anyone else involved in the tournament, but I felt that the ending of this fight was wholly uninspired. I almost always expect you to drop a post in excess of a thousand words, capture someone's character as they themselves would, and express Ace's situation through Ace's eyes. I'm not taking away from the fact that you're a great writer, but I've read better work of yours. I just felt like this should've been no contest, but had to scrutinize the details to really judge this fight.
With that said I vote Alex (I want my rematch), but Orsalis put up a noteworthy Mexican standoff and I think he's a champ because of that. In the end Alex knows how to tighten up his work, which is what really won this over for him imo. I was going to vote Orsalis. I had to completely read this thread like three times. Great fight overall.
Orsalis, I don't know what I expected from you, but it couldn't have been much. I was pretty sure Alex would just walk into the finals, walk all over you, and then walk out with another notch on his belt. I admit I was wrong. You brought a new light to your character in the first post and set a hasty, in-your-face pace for the remainder of the fight. I thought you captured Ace's character pretty well and inspired decent enough imagery with your writing. The whole 'xenos' thing threw me off and you had a couple grammatical errors stuffed in there:
The silk suddenly snapped out and wrapped around Orsalis’ neck, growing taught as Trafford landed and forcing the icer off of his feet. (Taught should be 'taut', minor shit.)
There's definitely some money quality in your writing in this fight. Orsalis' banter got repetitive in the second post, but I guess that's just his character I disagree with and if that's how you're developing him then more power to you.
Alex. You're one of my more favored writers on Chubbs and I get that the whole tournament critique agreements and downtime probably pissed you off more than anyone else involved in the tournament, but I felt that the ending of this fight was wholly uninspired. I almost always expect you to drop a post in excess of a thousand words, capture someone's character as they themselves would, and express Ace's situation through Ace's eyes. I'm not taking away from the fact that you're a great writer, but I've read better work of yours. I just felt like this should've been no contest, but had to scrutinize the details to really judge this fight.
With that said I vote Alex (I want my rematch), but Orsalis put up a noteworthy Mexican standoff and I think he's a champ because of that. In the end Alex knows how to tighten up his work, which is what really won this over for him imo. I was going to vote Orsalis. I had to completely read this thread like three times. Great fight overall.