01-25-2005, 09:56 AM
Sometimes this job gets extremely confidence lowering. I wouldn't want to talk you out of trying, but we will be testing you in both intellegence and emotional levels, amongst many other things. I currently am living on my own, working a full time job to try to earn money to go back to school while working on honestly building a family with my girlfriend. I don't want to be the kid that sits on the computer playing games all day. I want to be the adult that supports his family, and has his priorities straight. I honestly have to work really hard to stay on CDBZ, and yet still do these things. While some may not see the work you truely do, or call you lazy, you will know just how hard you have to work to keep up with your life and this site. This site is not top priority, however, things still have to get done, whether you are busy or not. There are times when I am laughed at by my family, (try telling them you can't stay out visiting because you need to get home to work on your website, especially when they know what site.) and there are times when I feel this site tearing into my relationship with my girlfriend, by taking time that I honestly want more of to spend with her, and by causing me to always come in and sit on the computer, unable to so much as pass this office room without stopping in, even when late for work. There are times when the pressure of keeping up with your area on Dante while your girlfriend is pissed at you because you've practically been ignoring her all day when she just wants a small "I love you" on your one day off will leave you asking yourself "Why am I still doing this?"
I've been here since day one, guys. About August of 1999. That's 5.5 years. I began this site by contacting Chris, the original owner, and offering my services shortly after Zento closed. We had both been wanting to build a new empire, and I had already been contacting some staff members from there (such as Jeff Crosby) in hopes of them helping me. When Chris emailed me back, asking me for my real name, I was a bit uneasy. I did not want to give it on the net, but I did, and was allowed to help. The two of us took the two parts of the roster "A-M" and "N-Z" and made sure to update them each week. We added things to the shop, and shortly after realised that we could no longer keep up with writing spars and doing the updates at the same time. That's when Mario offered us his services. He joined, we slapped him into a leather bikini, err, suit, and asked him to be official "Spar Writer Moderator". For the longest time, that's all he was around for. He learned alot and we saw the promise of his ideas and his willingness to help the staff and members alike, and soon, presto, Supah Mod. For the longest time, that's what he was. Till now. There were many other staff members of past and present, and they all have similar stories.
What I wish to impress upon you is that we had to learn to maintain a maturity that was almost beyond us. In order to attain the growth that we have, we had to learn to hold ourselves to responsibilities that the world would call stupid, things that meant something to us even when we didn't know why. I was just freshly 15 when this started, and here I am, turning 21 in June. I'm a completely different person. If anyone doesn't think that I sometimes sit and think in depression about just dropping this and claiming my freedom, and never looking back, you are wrong. It's a hard hard job. This isn't like any other site in terms of job. This is a site that has built a legacy for itself, both good and bad. To some, this is a mockery, the disgrace of Zento and that which is "dead" with nothing more than ghosts in haunting. To others, this site is a place to meet friends, to hold onto as a way of keeping yourself alive. This site has been used before by people as their only means of not committing suicide, because we listen when no others will. This site has kept many a person busy, mostly in the middle school to high school age group. For the most part, after a couple of years, most people tend to outgrow this and move on with their life.
As a staff member, we decline that. We don't "move on with our life" because we have to stay here. We have gained so much in terms of understanding and leadership skills, and yet lost so much in real life social skills. This site has burned us out in creativity at times, and at other times, it's the greatest thing we can use to channel out our creative spark. The pride that enters you when you run into a kid in some High School and realize he's writing on a notebook a bad roleplay in hopes of getting a join application in, not even realizing who you are when you walk by, is amazing. I've literally met kids that would be talking about it, and I'd be in shock, and go "Wow... I'm Reijin there... I didn't realize this site was that big" just for them to freak out and go "Oh my god! You are? Wow! All my friends keep talking about this site and waiting on certain characters to open." I've ran into multiple things on Google calling themselves "The Best DBZ Site Since Chubbs DBZ!" and thought to myself "That's quite a compliment."
To make this ramble short, there are times when this site will impair you, and tax you to your limits, make you want to quit. There are times when you will question why you do this, put all this time into this little website instead of getting another job and making extra money. Why you work so hard on this when you get nothing out of it, and why you are living in a little apartment instead of providing a better life for a family, a family I wish to start one day... There are those times... And then you see the joy of a new member when they join, and their eagerness to post, and remember the times you've had here, and just how much it has changed you inside, and how many times you've laughed and the bonds you've created with other members here, bonds that hold true outside of the circuitry world. Then you meet up with someone you met as a 14 year old and get invited to their military wedding and realize you have a brother you've never met in person, but know that many people here will have your back when noone else will. Then you find that spark inside you and make yourself keep working, in hopes that you will provide someone else that little bit needed to make a positive mark on their life, to keep them from going out and getting themselves killed on drugs, and to one day enhance their talents so that you might read a book by them in the future.
Then... you can be where I am, welcoming others into the chance to put their hard work to the test and be a staff member here. Welcome to CDBZ Apprentice.
I've been here since day one, guys. About August of 1999. That's 5.5 years. I began this site by contacting Chris, the original owner, and offering my services shortly after Zento closed. We had both been wanting to build a new empire, and I had already been contacting some staff members from there (such as Jeff Crosby) in hopes of them helping me. When Chris emailed me back, asking me for my real name, I was a bit uneasy. I did not want to give it on the net, but I did, and was allowed to help. The two of us took the two parts of the roster "A-M" and "N-Z" and made sure to update them each week. We added things to the shop, and shortly after realised that we could no longer keep up with writing spars and doing the updates at the same time. That's when Mario offered us his services. He joined, we slapped him into a leather bikini, err, suit, and asked him to be official "Spar Writer Moderator". For the longest time, that's all he was around for. He learned alot and we saw the promise of his ideas and his willingness to help the staff and members alike, and soon, presto, Supah Mod. For the longest time, that's what he was. Till now. There were many other staff members of past and present, and they all have similar stories.
What I wish to impress upon you is that we had to learn to maintain a maturity that was almost beyond us. In order to attain the growth that we have, we had to learn to hold ourselves to responsibilities that the world would call stupid, things that meant something to us even when we didn't know why. I was just freshly 15 when this started, and here I am, turning 21 in June. I'm a completely different person. If anyone doesn't think that I sometimes sit and think in depression about just dropping this and claiming my freedom, and never looking back, you are wrong. It's a hard hard job. This isn't like any other site in terms of job. This is a site that has built a legacy for itself, both good and bad. To some, this is a mockery, the disgrace of Zento and that which is "dead" with nothing more than ghosts in haunting. To others, this site is a place to meet friends, to hold onto as a way of keeping yourself alive. This site has been used before by people as their only means of not committing suicide, because we listen when no others will. This site has kept many a person busy, mostly in the middle school to high school age group. For the most part, after a couple of years, most people tend to outgrow this and move on with their life.
As a staff member, we decline that. We don't "move on with our life" because we have to stay here. We have gained so much in terms of understanding and leadership skills, and yet lost so much in real life social skills. This site has burned us out in creativity at times, and at other times, it's the greatest thing we can use to channel out our creative spark. The pride that enters you when you run into a kid in some High School and realize he's writing on a notebook a bad roleplay in hopes of getting a join application in, not even realizing who you are when you walk by, is amazing. I've literally met kids that would be talking about it, and I'd be in shock, and go "Wow... I'm Reijin there... I didn't realize this site was that big" just for them to freak out and go "Oh my god! You are? Wow! All my friends keep talking about this site and waiting on certain characters to open." I've ran into multiple things on Google calling themselves "The Best DBZ Site Since Chubbs DBZ!" and thought to myself "That's quite a compliment."
To make this ramble short, there are times when this site will impair you, and tax you to your limits, make you want to quit. There are times when you will question why you do this, put all this time into this little website instead of getting another job and making extra money. Why you work so hard on this when you get nothing out of it, and why you are living in a little apartment instead of providing a better life for a family, a family I wish to start one day... There are those times... And then you see the joy of a new member when they join, and their eagerness to post, and remember the times you've had here, and just how much it has changed you inside, and how many times you've laughed and the bonds you've created with other members here, bonds that hold true outside of the circuitry world. Then you meet up with someone you met as a 14 year old and get invited to their military wedding and realize you have a brother you've never met in person, but know that many people here will have your back when noone else will. Then you find that spark inside you and make yourself keep working, in hopes that you will provide someone else that little bit needed to make a positive mark on their life, to keep them from going out and getting themselves killed on drugs, and to one day enhance their talents so that you might read a book by them in the future.
Then... you can be where I am, welcoming others into the chance to put their hard work to the test and be a staff member here. Welcome to CDBZ Apprentice.
![[Image: reijinchefsig.jpg]](http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b121/warpzone116/reijinchefsig.jpg)
"I'm gonna fuck that unicorrrrrn"