11-06-2005, 11:56 PM
Bardock kneeled uncomfortably in the silence. She seemed lost in her own world. Finally, without warning, she glanced up until her watery blue eyes were level with his. She stared at his face, a curious look upon hers. The android wasn't seeing him--she was looking at someone else. Raditzu's face resembled Bardock's, though not as closely as Kakarotto's, but there was more than enough to establish blood ties. The focus in Eighteen's eyes drifted back to reality, and she no longer saw Raditzu, but finally recognized who she was truly looking at.
"I'm sorry, I was thinking," she answered. "You're...Bardock?"
He nodded, a gesture only barely perceptible. The woman gazed at him anew, fully taking in his features. A clarity was visible in her eyes, thoughts passing through her mind that were unknown to him. His presence seemed to have some affect on her mood, which was kind of the point. Without warning, tears sprang anew, trickling down her soft cheeks.
"I don't want him to lose, I don't want him to leave, even though...even though, he hadn't talked to me, and I don't want to be alone here."
Bardock didn't completely understand what she was saying, but what little empathy that existed in his being could feel the emotions that were radiating from her. In a single motion that suprised the saiyan, she burst forward, burying her face in his broad chest, her hands clutched together against his shoulders. Needless to say, he was startled, and was completely lost as to what to do or say. His arms fumbled about as he wondered whether or not he should hug her. Comfort seemed to be what she wanted.
"I think I love him and...the RoSaT and..." she continued, weeping.
This was beyond his ability to comprehend. The passion that the android and his son shared was unmistakable, but it seemed like there was something between them, and she was just lost. That still didn't help Bardock figure out what to do about it. Before he had any further chance to deliberate the assistance he was to give, she pushed away, once again taking her desolate position against the wall. "I'm sorry..."
She drew her knees up, glaring darkly at the arena where the fight was taking place. A scorched hand rubbed away the stains of salty tear tracks. Bardock was at a loss for words. This was slightly awkward for him. He searched her face for inspiration.
"Eighteen!" a familiar voice called.
She didn't take heed, but Bardock turned, only to see the haggard face of Bra.
He kept silent, mind going almost blank with observation, as the young girl pleaded with the femme fatale to talk Raditzu out of fighting her father. The fighter was used to being constantly ignored and passed over. It only served to remind him how well he knew that no one but him cared of his existence. Bardock was regarded as a tool by most, nothing more.
He listened to their conversation, absorbing the words and their meanings. Although it was unintentioned, Android 18's words of fatherhood stung him as much as they were meant for Vegeta. But within those words came the revelation of a long cultivated feud between his son and his prince. Bardock felt obligated to say something to Bra on Vegeta's behalf, not for the prince, but for himself, but he was not insightful when it came to relationships, and certainly not articulate enough to say anything compelling. He opened his mouth to speak, and no sound came out. It wasn't even any of his business anyway.
This damned game had changed him so much, and it seemed irrevocable.
"Things have a way of...complicating themselves..." Bardock finally conceded, not sure if either of them were even listening to him or not. The words were...forced, although not insincere or unkind. "It's hard to be selfish and to care for others at the same time. You just want so bad for things to be how you think they should be. But when it comes to wanting...no two people's wants are ever the same. You can't make someone have the same wants as you. You can't ever make them truly understand how you feel, because they're not you. That's why I--"
He stopped, catching himself before uttering the rest. That was enough. That was all he could do. His monologue probably fell far short of consolation. He switched tack.
"It's important to have strength in yourself. In the end, if all else fails, then you know you can at least rely on that. But to have people who truly care about you--whether you see it or not--is a rare thing. Raditzu feels for you, Eighteen. I've seen it. I know that there isn't anything alive or dead that can bring him down without losing as much, or more, in return. And Prince Vegeta...he wants to be a father...he wants to be the best father in the world...but...it's...hard."
Bra finally looked at him, as if to say, What do you know? I don't even know you.
Bardock turned away, clenching his teeth. It was so much easier when he didn't have to care. But he couldn't help it now. A floodgate that he'd kept closed for so long was opening. And he hated it. So much. Things were simpler when he communicated with his fists, showed the world how he felt by fighting. Not everyone functioned that way...not everyone could see the world through their fists. Within him was a need to just be needed, whether he could deny it or not. He almost wanted to laugh. How ironic that he desired to be a pillar of strength for others, but could not give help when it was needed. How funny that he was failing so miserably. How funny that maybe for once he wanted to shed the skin of a monster and show people he could be something else. And how funny that no one had ever wanted to return the favor.
"Fuck you Brim. Fuck you for doing this to me," the saiyan cursed under his breath, so low that neither of them could hear. He turned back to Bra, who had returned her gaze to her father. Raditzu seemed to be looking at them, beaten and worn from his fight with Vegeta. Bardock forced any sign of weakness back within, once more putting up his coating of iron. They would only get to see what they wanted to see, and nothing more.
Except he couldn't hide the sudden sadness in his eyes.
He didn't even notice the sound that rang out, nor the one that followed, the one of the headless body of Yamu slumping to the ground, lifeless.
OOC: Too much? Numero tres.
"I'm sorry, I was thinking," she answered. "You're...Bardock?"
He nodded, a gesture only barely perceptible. The woman gazed at him anew, fully taking in his features. A clarity was visible in her eyes, thoughts passing through her mind that were unknown to him. His presence seemed to have some affect on her mood, which was kind of the point. Without warning, tears sprang anew, trickling down her soft cheeks.
"I don't want him to lose, I don't want him to leave, even though...even though, he hadn't talked to me, and I don't want to be alone here."
Bardock didn't completely understand what she was saying, but what little empathy that existed in his being could feel the emotions that were radiating from her. In a single motion that suprised the saiyan, she burst forward, burying her face in his broad chest, her hands clutched together against his shoulders. Needless to say, he was startled, and was completely lost as to what to do or say. His arms fumbled about as he wondered whether or not he should hug her. Comfort seemed to be what she wanted.
"I think I love him and...the RoSaT and..." she continued, weeping.
This was beyond his ability to comprehend. The passion that the android and his son shared was unmistakable, but it seemed like there was something between them, and she was just lost. That still didn't help Bardock figure out what to do about it. Before he had any further chance to deliberate the assistance he was to give, she pushed away, once again taking her desolate position against the wall. "I'm sorry..."
She drew her knees up, glaring darkly at the arena where the fight was taking place. A scorched hand rubbed away the stains of salty tear tracks. Bardock was at a loss for words. This was slightly awkward for him. He searched her face for inspiration.
"Eighteen!" a familiar voice called.
She didn't take heed, but Bardock turned, only to see the haggard face of Bra.
He kept silent, mind going almost blank with observation, as the young girl pleaded with the femme fatale to talk Raditzu out of fighting her father. The fighter was used to being constantly ignored and passed over. It only served to remind him how well he knew that no one but him cared of his existence. Bardock was regarded as a tool by most, nothing more.
He listened to their conversation, absorbing the words and their meanings. Although it was unintentioned, Android 18's words of fatherhood stung him as much as they were meant for Vegeta. But within those words came the revelation of a long cultivated feud between his son and his prince. Bardock felt obligated to say something to Bra on Vegeta's behalf, not for the prince, but for himself, but he was not insightful when it came to relationships, and certainly not articulate enough to say anything compelling. He opened his mouth to speak, and no sound came out. It wasn't even any of his business anyway.
This damned game had changed him so much, and it seemed irrevocable.
"Things have a way of...complicating themselves..." Bardock finally conceded, not sure if either of them were even listening to him or not. The words were...forced, although not insincere or unkind. "It's hard to be selfish and to care for others at the same time. You just want so bad for things to be how you think they should be. But when it comes to wanting...no two people's wants are ever the same. You can't make someone have the same wants as you. You can't ever make them truly understand how you feel, because they're not you. That's why I--"
He stopped, catching himself before uttering the rest. That was enough. That was all he could do. His monologue probably fell far short of consolation. He switched tack.
"It's important to have strength in yourself. In the end, if all else fails, then you know you can at least rely on that. But to have people who truly care about you--whether you see it or not--is a rare thing. Raditzu feels for you, Eighteen. I've seen it. I know that there isn't anything alive or dead that can bring him down without losing as much, or more, in return. And Prince Vegeta...he wants to be a father...he wants to be the best father in the world...but...it's...hard."
Bra finally looked at him, as if to say, What do you know? I don't even know you.
Bardock turned away, clenching his teeth. It was so much easier when he didn't have to care. But he couldn't help it now. A floodgate that he'd kept closed for so long was opening. And he hated it. So much. Things were simpler when he communicated with his fists, showed the world how he felt by fighting. Not everyone functioned that way...not everyone could see the world through their fists. Within him was a need to just be needed, whether he could deny it or not. He almost wanted to laugh. How ironic that he desired to be a pillar of strength for others, but could not give help when it was needed. How funny that he was failing so miserably. How funny that maybe for once he wanted to shed the skin of a monster and show people he could be something else. And how funny that no one had ever wanted to return the favor.
"Fuck you Brim. Fuck you for doing this to me," the saiyan cursed under his breath, so low that neither of them could hear. He turned back to Bra, who had returned her gaze to her father. Raditzu seemed to be looking at them, beaten and worn from his fight with Vegeta. Bardock forced any sign of weakness back within, once more putting up his coating of iron. They would only get to see what they wanted to see, and nothing more.
Except he couldn't hide the sudden sadness in his eyes.
He didn't even notice the sound that rang out, nor the one that followed, the one of the headless body of Yamu slumping to the ground, lifeless.
OOC: Too much? Numero tres.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
_=Pass you by, it's all in this life you have
Pass you by, good-bye to you=_
Pass you by, good-bye to you=_