A lesson

[Whompt]

I spent the last few days thinking of how to word this just right, after I'd finally decided to share my experience with everyone here. Somehow, I can't get the words to come out just how I'd like, in a way that wouldn't sound like I'm seeking pity, or looking for attention. But, I'm still going to try. A few nights ago, I went out to the bar with a friend. Nothing bad, so far. Getting drunk has been helping me deal with my problems. Actually, it hasn't. I guess I'm just looking for an excuse. Anyway, back to the subject at hand. I've been feeling really down ever since my wife told me she never wanted to marry me and was seeking divorce. It's a long story, one I don't fully understand myself, so I won't burden anyone with those details. While I was out at this bar, the opportunity came around to do some drugs, namely cocaine. Life sort of entered a downward spiral from there, though I felt pretty good about it at the time. Coke will do that. Now I'm so disappointed in myself that I know I'll never do that again and I have a feeling deep in my bones that something terrible will come from what I did. Some of the things I did were just... not in my character. I was even more annoying that usual. I chewed my fingernails down to bleeding, and I couldn't stop myself. Even when the pain was excrutiating, which it still is. It's a reminder that I'll never do anything so stupid again in my life. Sorry, I know I'm rambling on and not making any sense. I'll stop now, hoping that someone else will take this lesson to heart and not make the same mistake that I did. Substance abuse won't help the pain go away, it'll only ruin your life.