Jokes...

[Uno]

How to get out of a speeding ticket.

A man was caught speeding and a cop pulled him over.

Cop: Sir, you were just speeding ten miles over the speed limit. Licence sir.

Man: I don?t have one, sir.

Cop: You don?t, well then at least let me see the owners permit.

Man: I don?t have that either sir.

Cop: You don?t?

Man: Well I stole the car, how am I supposed to know where all his stuff is?

Cop: You stole this car?!?

Man: Oh wait...maybe it?s in the compartment with my gun.

Cop: You?ve got a gun!?!

Man: Now I remember where it was. It?s in the trunk with that dead body.

Cop: There?s a dead body in the trunk!?!?!

After hearing this, the cop calls his officer over to help him.

Officer: Let me see your licence and owners permit, sir!

The man reaches into his wallet and pulls out the licence and permit and hands it to the officer.

Officer: OK, now open up that compartment.

The man opens it and there isn?t any gun to be seen.

Officer: Alright then, and could you please open the trunk of the car.

The man did it, and to the dismay of the cop, there wasn?t a body to be seen. The officer looks at the cop with the ?If you lied to me one more time...? face.

Man: I bet he said I was speeding too!