05-17-2006, 12:55 AM
[19:50:04] Goku Jr: I recommend reading it, I'll try to make them smaller in the future. But please read it and give me a tiny bit of feedback in the throne.
'Kay
I thought it was hilarious. I was bored towards the start. Too much description bores me but it picked up quick after the first couple paragraphs when GJ met the staff member. I thought he was just gonna be a good little boy and take it like a bitch. Fortunetly, GJ didn't.
Still a little much to read for something that really could have been pulled off the same way shorter. But overall, good way to show your character's personality. I was skeptical that GJ seemed more intelligent then a kid would be, so I'm happy to see he has a little childish personality.
Overall, good development, average roleplay
'Kay
I thought it was hilarious. I was bored towards the start. Too much description bores me but it picked up quick after the first couple paragraphs when GJ met the staff member. I thought he was just gonna be a good little boy and take it like a bitch. Fortunetly, GJ didn't.
Still a little much to read for something that really could have been pulled off the same way shorter. But overall, good way to show your character's personality. I was skeptical that GJ seemed more intelligent then a kid would be, so I'm happy to see he has a little childish personality.
Overall, good development, average roleplay