05-22-2006, 02:49 AM
I'm not very good with C&C, but I'll give it a go.
I can't really anything wrong with it, and I liked the part that made Blue go insane. One thing I could suggest is that you try and use something like a metaphor to give definition to how bored and angry Blue is, something I want to incorporate in my writing, actually.
Anywho, Blue himself is pretty cool. One thing I could suggest is to have other names for Blue...Pronouns? =/ Anyway, calling him something other then Blue and 'he' helps to spice up the writing a bit, as long as it's not overdone.
\m/ >.< \m/ Rock on! Write on! *Insert word* on!
I can't really anything wrong with it, and I liked the part that made Blue go insane. One thing I could suggest is that you try and use something like a metaphor to give definition to how bored and angry Blue is, something I want to incorporate in my writing, actually.
Anywho, Blue himself is pretty cool. One thing I could suggest is to have other names for Blue...Pronouns? =/ Anyway, calling him something other then Blue and 'he' helps to spice up the writing a bit, as long as it's not overdone.
\m/ >.< \m/ Rock on! Write on! *Insert word* on!