FoFII: Discussion

[Ander]

Originally posted by Vegeta

Originally posted by Raditzu
I hope I did Veggie's post justice.

C&C would be greatly appreciated.

C&C on the whole SSJ2 Raditzu Vs. SSJ2 Vegeta mini fight would be much appreciated.

I am thoroughly impressed with the description Raditzu displayed. The use, however, of the word ?cesspools? in reference to solid white eyes was either a complete misunderstanding of the true definition of ?cesspool? or just a poor insert. I didn?t like it. Cut off ?cess.? The powering up of Vegeta and Raditzu was a perfect blend of thought process and physical depiction. Most fight sequences consist of little more than one or two powerful blows as the center focus, but this was a balance of power hits and ordinary m?l?e: not just one crushing attack after another, but actual maneuvering. It?s difficult to produce something original when it comes to a fighting-based RPG. In short, Rad?s first post was a nice piece of work.

It seems like all of us are doing the ?Reijin,? reworking the previous post to fit our own point of view before moving on. Veg does it well. I loved your use of simile with the ballet dancer. That was incredibly unique and flowed excellently. You continued to do so. That?s one thing I really like about your posts. It makes it so easy to get inside Vegeta?s head, and the picture is very vivid. Good word usage. I know when I read your writing I?ll always be able to find it, because that?s enjoyable to read. It was refreshing to see things like ?rally? instead of ?volley,? or similar things. I can?t find very many things wrong with yours, and none of which are really worth pointing out.

Rad?s closing had dialogue that really supplemented the material. That?s what I like you for?your use of dialogue, and how every word is so appropriate for the moment. The first two posts (yours and Veggie?s) were tremendous build up for the conclusion, which left nothing to be desired. Hard as I tried, I couldn?t think of anything that could have topped it.

Aside from a few minor grammatical errors and the like, I?d say it was one of the best fights I?ve ever read. It wasn?t too heavy on the sap, or ridiculously overdramatic. It was two guys getting really into the fight, and then realizing that there was maybe something more, something that they?ve both overlooked. It had resolution that didn?t require playing on heartstrings, which is hard to do and something I find to be a breath of fresh air in this saga, and it also managed to pump the hardcore fighting. My hats off to the both of you.