C&C 'Retribution'

[Hellfighter 17]

They made a surprise attack last night, sorry. >.>

I'll mainly be conentrating on the last two, as they have the most schtuff.

The first paragraph of your third RP confused me; I wasn't sure if he was attacking them ore merely finding his seat. Although sometimes leaving your reader not knowing can be good, confused is not so good unless it's a major twist, which this wasn't. I really like the thought process of that post, though, but having more physical signs of it would have been better, even though you sai dhe wasn't shakin' and all that, some desrciption og how he was physically would have been nice, but the line

Originally posted by Minoshia
Minoshia squeezed his own fist, his nails diggin slits into his palm.

was great. I love when people add stuff like this, it can be seen as such a minute detail, yet very effective.

As for the second one, I think that as he was walking into the museum and when he was screaming at them the first time he showed have showed signs as I said when he was on the bus. Otherwise, I think you did a good job on the thoughts and actions carried out. As said before, though, you need to work on grammar and schtuff. If you don't have Word, you can just send your RPs to me beforehand and I'll fix it up.