Thought I'd announce

[Reijin]

Here they are, and seeing the pirate one again was so worth it. "HARRR!"

bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?
bloodninja: What like gardening an shit?
MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.
bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
*pause*
MommyMelissa: is that it?
bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
*pause*
bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this shit is HOT.
MommyMelissa: ....
bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
MommyMelissa: What the fuck is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
MommyMelissa: whatever.


bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
DirtyKate: OK, but don't tell anybody ;-)
DirtyKate: Who are you?
bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car
bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
bloodninja: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!
bloodninja: Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate: Umm...Yes
DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
*pause*
DirtyKate: I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza.
bloodninja: I'm on my way now though
DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now.
bloodninja: How did you know?
bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKate: Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
bloodninja: So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself
bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyKate: What the fuck?
DirtyKate: You perverted piece of shit!!
DirtyKate: Fuck


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Bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.
Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay.
Bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.
Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough.
Bloodninja: I smack you thick booty.
Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good.
Bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.
Bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.
Sarah19fca: you like that?
Bloodninja: I peel some bananas.
Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?
Bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.
Sarah19fca: Peanuts?
Bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.
Sarah19fca: What are you talking about?
Bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.
Sarah19fca: This is stupid.
Bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
Bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
Bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.
Sarah19fca: /ignore
Bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a bitch anyway.
Bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.


sweet17: Hi!
bloodninja: hello
bloodninja: who is this?
sweet17: just a someone
bloodninja: A someone I know?
sweet17: nope
bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
sweet17: well sorrrrrry
sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you
bloodninja: why?
sweet17: nevermind your an jerk
bloodninja: Hey wait a minute!
sweet17: yes?
bloodninja: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
sweet17: paranoid?
bloodninja: yes
sweet17: of what?
sweet17: me?
bloodninja: No. I'm in hiding
sweet17: LOL
bloodninja: Don't fucking laugh at me!
bloodninja: This shit is serious!
sweet17: What are you hiding from?
bloodninja: The cops
sweet17: gimme a fucking break
bloodninja: I'm serious
sweet17: I don't get it
bloodninja: The cops are after me
sweet17: For what?
bloodninja: I'm wanted in three states
sweet17: For???
bloodninja: It's kindof embarrasing
bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You are fucking sick
bloodninja: Send me your picture
sweet17: why?
bloodninja: so I know you aren't one of them
sweet17: One of what?
bloodninja: The cops
sweet17: I'm not a cop i told you
bloodninja: Then send me your picture
sweet17: hold on
bloodninja: Hurry up
bloodninja: Are you there?
bloodninja: Fuck you, cop!
sweet17: Hey sorry
sweet17: I had to do something for my mom
bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me
bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities
bloodninja: Weren't you!?
sweet17: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU ASSHOLE!
bloodninja: Then send me the picture
sweet17: What's your e-mail?
bloodninja: Just send it through here
sweet17: alright
<*transfers picture*>
sweet17: Did you get it?
bloodninja: Hold on. I'm looking
sweet17: That was me back in may
sweet17: I've lost weight since then
bloodninja: I hope so
sweet17: what?!?
sweet17: that hurt my feelings
bloodninja: did it?
sweet17: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now
bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
sweet17: i guess
bloodninja: Alright let me find it
sweet17: kks
bloodninja: Okay here it is.
<*transfers picture*>
sweet17: this isn't you
bloodninja: I'll be damned if it ain't!
sweet17: You don't look like that
bloodninja: How the hell do you know?
sweet17: cause your profile has another picture
bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake
sweet17:
bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops
sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries
sweet17: Go fuck yourself
bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture
bloodninja: Now my unit won't get hard for a week
sweet17: I shouldn't have sent you that picture
sweet17: You've done nothing but slam me
sweet17: you hurt me
bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!
bloodninja: Why would I do that?
sweet17: I can't believe that cops are after you
bloodninja: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap
sweet17: FUCK YOU!!!!
bloodninja: You'd break both of his legs
sweet17: You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE!
sweet17: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
bloodninja: Ok. I'm sorry
sweet17: No you arent
bloodninja: You're right. I'm not
bloodninja: HAARRRRR!
sweet17: I'm done with you
bloodninja: Aww. I'm sorry
sweet17: I'm putting you on ignore
bloodninja: Wait a sec
bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot
bloodninja: Wanna start over?
sweet17: no
bloodninja: I'll eat your kitty
sweet17: You'll what?
bloodninja: You heard me
bloodninja: I said I'd eat your kitty
sweet17: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
sweet17: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
bloodninja: Well I'm not like most men
bloodninja: I get excited in different ways
sweet17: Like what?
bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?
sweet17: I don't know
bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no
sweet17: I'm afraid to
bloodninja: Why?
sweet17: cause
bloodninja: cause why?
sweet17: well lets see
sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
sweet17: doesn't that seem strange to you?
bloodninja: nope
sweet17: well its strange to me
bloodninja: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
sweet17: I didn't say that
bloodninja: So is that a yes?
sweet17: I guess so
bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though
bloodninja: Are you willing?
sweet17: What do you need me to do?
bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate
sweet17: ???
bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
bloodninja: ok?
bloodninja: hello?
sweet17: You can't be serious
bloodninja: Oh yes I am!
bloodninja: It's my fantasy
sweet17: this is retarded
bloodninja: Do you want it or not?
sweet17: Yes I want it
bloodninja: Then you'll do it for me?
sweet17: sure
bloodninja: Ok. Here we go
bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs
bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty
bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth cunt
sweet17: mmmm yeah
bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp
sweet17: harr
bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
bloodninja: Your picture was really bad
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke
bloodninja: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth
bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose
bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity
sweet17: mmmmmm you are good
bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I suckharder
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: HARRRRRRR
bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands
bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: this is stupid
bloodninja: ...still limp
bloodninja: Do it!
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your asshole
bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass
bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass
sweet17: WTF?!?!?
bloodninja: They stink really bad
sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg
bloodninja: I ram it up your ass
sweet17: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!!
bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head
bloodninja: And turn you into a fucking candy apple...
bloodninja: I kick you in the face!
sweet17: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!
bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
bloodninja: Your parrot flys away
bloodninja: ...going limp again.
bloodninja: Hello?
bloodninja: Say it!
bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!


bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey....
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty Fuck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't fuck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of shit!
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?


bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet
j_gurli3: thats it
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn
bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now


BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the fuck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh shit
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you fuck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh fuck
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something