To All Participants

[Reijin]

I just don't know if I have the heart to continue on.

... *loads deadjournal*

Dear diary...
I don't know if I can live anymore. Today seemed to start off well, as well as terrible gets, until I went to get a bowl of cereal. Unfortunately, I realized after pouring the cereal that someone had taken all of the milk. Sighing in cold anger, I unhappily crunched my dry cereal, realizing how similar the sound was to that of snappy bones beneath the rack.

Shortly after I decided to go for a walk, picking my best hoodie from my floor and donning my arm bands. Noone really understands me, nor why I wear these armbands, but I don't care what people think. I do it for me. I grabbed my iPod so I could jam out to some Good Charlotte and walked out the door.

I made it to the bottom of the long flight of eerily creaking stairs, contemplating its similarity to the long walk into the dark depths of Hell, before stepping off onto the sidewalk, groaning as my iPod decided it was its time to die on batteries. I angrily shoved it into my pocket mere moments after shaking it in frustration, to no avail, just to hear a car horn from behind me. I spun around to find a raging torrent of children's tears spray from beneath the car's tires onto my clothing.

Storming into my room, I disrobed the weeping clothing from my form, crying for shelter as I threw myself onto the bed. I punched the pillow thinking 'How could this day grow any worse?' Like an answer from a dark god, the power flashed, forcing me to have to reset my alarm clock.

Deciding that the day had nothing else worth doing, I went to my computer and put my favorite Dashboard Confessional cd only to find that it was scratched beyond belief. A dark light descended upon me as I gloomily exchanged it for my soul, inserting My Chemical Romance in its place. I reached for my mouse and loaded up Chubbs, only to find that someone had been telling everyone my darkest secrets. I tried to cover it up; crying out in agony and betrayel, hoping to convince them that I didn't care. They don't understand me anyway. He insisted that one of my closest friends had followed the path to the darkside, telling him everything that he needed to know to ensure my miserable failure in the game. Dismayed, I simply tried to plea my case and claim my undying allegiance and trust, only to have another member laugh at my woe begotten existance as he demeaned my writing abilities. He then called me out, leaving me to twist my lip ring in torment. The day could not get any worse.

Maybe I can bleed it out later. I do not know. That depends on how long it takes my mom to get back with my curtains. She took my favorite black curtains to the wash, knowing that their void of color and the blood stains upon it are merely a reflection of my most inner soul. She'll never understand me. Noone does.

Sigh.