06-01-2008, 12:24 PM
Zangya:
The thing I like about your writing is that you're not the most skilled person as far as vocabulary. But you make up for that with some reasonably good imagery. I could picture everything Zangya was doing.
More importantly, however, was that you kept me moderately interested. Maybe not a thrilling post, but still an interesting post.
However, I did find some sentences and whatnot that were confusing, or just didn't flow well.
Using the word felt twice in the same sentence, unless to emphasize something, is repetitive. This can be remedied by using right-click: synonyms, if you have Microsoft Word.
The thing I like about your writing is that you're not the most skilled person as far as vocabulary. But you make up for that with some reasonably good imagery. I could picture everything Zangya was doing.
More importantly, however, was that you kept me moderately interested. Maybe not a thrilling post, but still an interesting post.
However, I did find some sentences and whatnot that were confusing, or just didn't flow well.
Quote:She wouldn’t even let herself know where she was going, so she just felt one thing—wherever her feet felt compelled to take her, she would let them take her there.
Using the word felt twice in the same sentence, unless to emphasize something, is repetitive. This can be remedied by using right-click: synonyms, if you have Microsoft Word.
![[Image: 1stAerosig.png]](http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q218/Aerogfx/sigs/1stAerosig.png)
Placed 3rd in Dante's Abyss 08