CnC game

[Bujin]

18: I'm not very good at this, I'll admit, but here goes. <.<

Let me first say that overall, it was a very good post for a "Get myself reacquinted with the island" post. I've always enjoyed the vivid descriptions in your work, and the first paragraph is a good example of your abilities in that area. I was just about to lose interest before you changed direction, though. You also do a very good job balancing action with internal feelings and thoughts and the like.

I already stretched something out into a negative in that last paragraph -- you almost spent too much time describing your surroundings. I wouldn't say it was boring, though, because it was very-well worded and it's pretty much just your writing style, so it didn't take anything out of the overall quality of the post.

So...good job. =D

Mine: http://www.cdbzrpg.com/forum/showpost.ph...stcount=26