05-23-2006, 09:36 PM
Still following it. I noticed one paragraph on the last post ended with 'He probably wasn't'. >_> Another grammar-related thing I just noticed - occasionally you do a sentence like this:
The 'S' at the beginning of the second bit of speech shouldn't be capitalised, unless there was a full stop before.
Story-wise, it seems to be building up to something. I feel like there's a conspiracy lurking just out of sight, and I look forward to when it comes together. BJ's character is perfect for this kind of stuff, because he's not the kind of guy who would pick up on what's going on. Keep it up, I'll be waiting for your next post.
Quote:"That little bit of light," he told himself, "So pretty..."
The 'S' at the beginning of the second bit of speech shouldn't be capitalised, unless there was a full stop before.
Story-wise, it seems to be building up to something. I feel like there's a conspiracy lurking just out of sight, and I look forward to when it comes together. BJ's character is perfect for this kind of stuff, because he's not the kind of guy who would pick up on what's going on. Keep it up, I'll be waiting for your next post.
![[Image: superbuuelectricityne4.jpg]](http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/3128/superbuuelectricityne4.jpg)
Bra Wrote:People are dumb, essentially.