06-08-2006, 03:35 AM
Why, why, why did you have to go bad? =(
Can't we have some decent good guys in here who aren't fucked up?! X(
...
Okay! =D
Oh my god you're a masochist. Good, in depth description of the whole tearing off the arm thing. It gives you that squirmy kind of feeling, like you're actually watching it happen. Ugh. But if I had the ability to regenerate, I'd mess around with it too.
You have kind of a shift focus thing going on. It goes from main plot to history of regeneration to main plot to actual regeneration to main plot again. This is not necessarily a bad thing. You give enough information to chew on while not straying too far from the actual point of things. Character depiction remains consistent; he's a hateful little thing.
Is there a specific something you are trying to get across?
Also, I strongly suggest you use or download Word.
Can't we have some decent good guys in here who aren't fucked up?! X(
...
Okay! =D
Oh my god you're a masochist. Good, in depth description of the whole tearing off the arm thing. It gives you that squirmy kind of feeling, like you're actually watching it happen. Ugh. But if I had the ability to regenerate, I'd mess around with it too.
You have kind of a shift focus thing going on. It goes from main plot to history of regeneration to main plot to actual regeneration to main plot again. This is not necessarily a bad thing. You give enough information to chew on while not straying too far from the actual point of things. Character depiction remains consistent; he's a hateful little thing.
Is there a specific something you are trying to get across?
Also, I strongly suggest you use or download Word.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
_=So wake me when it's through
I don't want to feel the things that you do
Don't worry, I'll be fine
I just don't want this dream, wake me up inside=_
I don't want to feel the things that you do
Don't worry, I'll be fine
I just don't want this dream, wake me up inside=_