06-13-2006, 05:34 AM
I started from your first post. I didn't really like how you had so much control over Silver. He may have been comfortable with it, but I would have preferred if you'd kept it from Cargo's angle, rather than behind the eyes of Silver as well. It took away from your character, a lot.
It was interesting how you met Silver via dream. A little corny, but at least it wasn't all 'Who are you?' 'I'm Silver.' 'I'm Cargo.' 'Yargh, let's go on a killing rampage.' 'Okay!' It provided some element of confrontation, because Cargo isn't entirely sure about this guy before he even meets him.
It was interesting how you met Silver via dream. A little corny, but at least it wasn't all 'Who are you?' 'I'm Silver.' 'I'm Cargo.' 'Yargh, let's go on a killing rampage.' 'Okay!' It provided some element of confrontation, because Cargo isn't entirely sure about this guy before he even meets him.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
_=So wake me when it's through
I don't want to feel the things that you do
Don't worry, I'll be fine
I just don't want this dream, wake me up inside=_
I don't want to feel the things that you do
Don't worry, I'll be fine
I just don't want this dream, wake me up inside=_

