Sure, why not ask?

[Ashe]

Originally posted by BardockHis little pyschosis is pretty awesome, because he puts a face on his problems and doesn't blink. Those cameramen never stood a chance, lol.

Explain this for me, if you can. I don't plan on doing a "oh here is the darkside" but everyone is entitled to their moment of "wall punching" so to speak, and this was the moment where Reijin actually grew angry (as opposed to any other outburst) and what he is like when he is angry. It was to show that even Reijin does have his moments when its best to just walk away.

The last part of both sentences is kind of redundant (own/own; place/place). You're the kind of writer who utilizes every sentence, so a hiccup, even a little one, takes away some of the effect. I could see where you were going with it, so you still get the point across.

I completely agree with you there. I felt myself tripping, and had just become distracted by something and really couldn't figure out how to better word that. I have noone to blame there but myself. The "own/own" part I had definately noticed; however, the "Placed/place" thing didn't really stand out to me as I didn't take into account a better wording.

Perhaps I should have reworded it as "It was that moment that had thrust Reijin from the forefront. It was that moment that he become second best."