PCIII Official C&C

[Alura]

Jeice:

In all seriousness, it wasn't that bad. Of course, you do still need some work but it wasn't as bad as you made it out to be.

First thing, though. The dialogue.

?I?m not sure, but I know regardless of what we encounter it won?t be easy.? Jeice replied looking back at his saiyan friend.

Now say that aloud. It is something Jeice would say? I would think it'd more like:

"I dunno, but I know regardless of what happens, it's ain't gonna be a picnic"

Aside from that, just some grammar mistakes and some puntuation like commas should be thrown in.

Try reading your post aloud and see how it sounds. That's the best way to test the flow of your writing. Make it sound as natural as you can.



My Turn