KoAII Round 2: Hellfighter 17 vs Jackie Chun
|
KoAII Round 2: Hellfighter 17 vs Jackie Chun
|
11-02-2006, 01:57 AM
Nice job, Jackie. I really like the narrative voice, but you seemed to rush the last half of it. Giving some more in-depth look into the race itself an personalizing it more so that readers could relalyc onnect with it would have been better.
"We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl."
![[Image: HFSeventeen.jpg]](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v687/hf17/HFSeventeen.jpg) |
|
« Next Oldest | Next Newest »
|
| Messages In This Thread |
|
KoAII Round 2: Hellfighter 17 vs Jackie Chun - by Alura - 10-22-2006, 03:56 AM
KoAII Round 2: Hellfighter 17 vs Jackie Chun - by Alura - 10-29-2006, 07:43 PM
KoAII Round 2: Hellfighter 17 vs Jackie Chun - by Alura - 10-29-2006, 07:44 PM
KoAII Round 2: Hellfighter 17 vs Jackie Chun - by Alura - 11-02-2006, 01:33 AM
KoAII Round 2: Hellfighter 17 vs Jackie Chun - by Hellfighter 17 - 11-02-2006, 01:57 AM
KoAII Round 2: Hellfighter 17 vs Jackie Chun - by Tamsin - 11-02-2006, 01:40 PM
|
