07-01-2007, 11:55 PM
Pretty good. Better than I expected, actually. You did an adequate job of explaining the situation and most of it was detailed.
You'd do well to go deeper into your character, though. What is he feeling, and so forth. You explained what he did, but not why. I don't know, try it. It might not be your style. Overall, I'd give it a 7/10.
http://www.cdbzrpg.com/forum/showthread....post431154
(You might have to read the post of mine before it to get a better feel for the situation.)
You'd do well to go deeper into your character, though. What is he feeling, and so forth. You explained what he did, but not why. I don't know, try it. It might not be your style. Overall, I'd give it a 7/10.
http://www.cdbzrpg.com/forum/showthread....post431154
(You might have to read the post of mine before it to get a better feel for the situation.)