Broken Road

[Hellfighter 17]

Originally posted by Burter Jr
Unless it interupts your ability to follow things

What SB first pointed out did interrupt things for me. =\ I can bypass grammar, but that sentence just seemed really awkward, and it seems as though it was supposed to say something important about BJ

POtherwise, I like the storyline, but at this point the whole little girl thing seems a bit rushed. It may come out again later, maybe you'll build a motif with the light/dark thing, but it seemed like there should have been more.

[Burter Jr]

I'll fix that thing, then, I suppose.

I don't think it's rushed, to be honest. Usually I'm all for listening to critism, but I have to honestly disagree with you. It's just as I had planned it to be