Dragonball: Evolution

[Jack]

Is it still terrible even if you go in with a "this is going to be a great bad movie" mindset?

If you mean like how I wanted to see Max Payne because it was gathering a reputation as the worst movie ever? Yeah, this is definitely that kind of movie.

Go with friends and rag on it, I probably won't but yeah.

[Dehan]

Yea I've come to the conclusion that this movie is a comedy if anything, it's just...hilarious to watch if you're not a db/dbz fan or are a db/dbz fan. You can just enjoy laughing at all the absurdity of the film.

[Josh]

They spent 100 million on this movie, I am sad in my pants. They should have paid me to do it I could have made a much better DB movie.

Edit: Here's the biggest problems.

Too many characters, they tried to appease too many people. Grandpa Gohan shouldn't have even been in the movie, the only mention should have been Goku remembering him or speaking of him to Roshi or some other character. The story should have focused only on Pikkoro, Goku, Bulma, and I would have dropped Yamucha and put Kuririn in there.

Roshi would have been a side character, same with Chichi.

Also they shouldn't have messed with the Dragonballs, nor should they have messed with the function of Ki which only made it more clunky and unwieldy.

The origin of the dragonballs aren't actually important, it's good enough to say that they exist and can grant one wish. Does the story of Aladin go into the origin of Genie? No, because it's not necessary. It could have been explained in a future movie it didn't have to be stated right then and there, much like how they right out said Pikkoro was an alien.

It would have been better if Pikkoro had showed up looking for the Dragonball and Roshi going into an exposition explaining that Pikkoro was a demon who'd shown up on earth a few hundred years ago but had been sealed away by Roshi's master- like the manga using the Mafuba technique.

Pikkoro could then tell us why he's searching for the Dragonball which would be to gain eternal youth, much like the manga. Then you could have your climactic battle towards the end with Kuririn having been killed by Pikkoro and Muten Roshi dying after failing to use the Mafuba technique which would give Goku plenty of motivation to fight him.

Between that you could have your little highschool drama, but it would be necessary to play it down a bit because Chichi should only be a very minor character at this point. Plus it's easy to give a reason for Goku to be teased by students at his school, one is his hair and the other is that HE HAS A FREAKIN' TAIL.

It would have been easy to slip Bulma in at the beginning being attracted to Goku's dragonball which would then give us an explanation of what the dragonballs do. She could even hound him and stay on Roshi's island which would give her screen time to build a relationship with roshi and goku as well as some fan service for the pervy roshi.

Kuririn could come in at sometime and become a rival for goku as well as lead into the Tenkaichi Budokai which would give Goku a way to try and impress chichi while at the same time leading us into the Pikkoro confrontation. Because he would show up looking for a Dragonball which could conveniently be part of a trophy at the Tenkaichi Budokai.

Like for fucksake the damn thing rights itself, even I could westernize it and make it a little more "hip" without butchering it.

Edit: One more thing.

Not enough fighting, I am sorry, but Dragonball is all about the fighting its balls to the wall fighting and they really dropped the ball on it.

[Vad]

Josh...

Wow.


A+ Josh.

[Pinky]

hahaha, i knew you were bullshitting when you said you enjoyed it.

[Ashe]

hahaha, i knew you were bullshitting when you said you enjoyed it.

From what I understand, he said he enjoyed it in the sense of seeing how someone with zero knowledge about DB could enjoy it. Said it entirely didn't do Dragonball itself justice, but for a random movie it wasn't horrible if you could force yourself to forget ever knowing the first thing about the characters.

[Dehan]

To me even if you don't know squat about the anime or whatever the movie still sucks infected donkey testies.

[Jack]

Most definitely. This is a terrible rendition of DB second, a horrible movie first.

[Dr. Cringle]

Yeah, sometimes a rock is just that: a rock. D=

[Ashe]

There must already be a sequel in the works, because this page: http://www.fandango.com/movies/1/movieov...REGWebsite has the following quote claiming to be what this first movie is about.

Goku and a handful of friends battle for the Earth against the deadly forces of the Saiyans, who are sweeping across the universe, leaving a path of destruction. Goku and his friends' best chance for survival rests with the Namekian DragonBalls , which provide them the power to summon a mighty dragon.

And supposedly the actual movie is 30 minutes longer than what you guys have been watching online. Something about that being the Asian release and it being shorter.

[Dehan]

There must already be a sequel in the works, because this page: http://www.fandango.com/movies/1/movieov...REGWebsite has the following quote claiming to be what this first movie is about.



And supposedly the actual movie is 30 minutes longer than what you guys have been watching online. Something about that being the Asian release and it being shorter.

I hoped it was shorter I mean it just jumped to the whole Piccolo revealing to Goku he's the Oozaru spoken about or whatever I dunno.

[Kazuya]

Yeah, that was so much more badass in HD. I just hope that it doesn't really turn into that bad of a b rated movie where the acting is so disbelievable and corny you just wanna smack a bitch.

Kinda debating on seeing it.

Called it.


Me and Reb are still gonna watch it on my super awesome widescreen monitor, though.

[Pinky]

Finally got around to watching it. I had some time to waste and nothing else to do, but now I wish I had just started at the wall. Could have made a better script by vomiting on a pile on shit.

[Vad]

Saw it yesterday at 10:30.

I had to rush to Polaris at 9:55 to make it. Speeding FTW; thank god some lights start flashing after 10.

Anyway!

D-

It was entertaining...in a twisted sort of way. I enjoyed Bulma. Fucking gorgeous. Surprisingly I didn't find Chi Chi so...wanted.

Rod's statement is correct. I mean seriously. I'm lucky I know the series. No one new could have understood what the fuck was going on.

It blew chunks. =/

[Alexander Trafford]

i almost saw it, then i saw observe and report with my friends instead. best decision ever.

[Kazuya]

Saw it yesterday at 10:30.

I had to rush to Polaris at 9:55 to make it. Speeding FTW; thank god some lights start flashing after 10.

Anyway!

D-

It was entertaining...in a twisted sort of way. I enjoyed Bulma. Fucking gorgeous. Surprisingly I didn't find Chi Chi so...wanted.

Rod's statement is correct. I mean seriously. I'm lucky I know the series. No one new could have understood what the fuck was going on.

It blew chunks. =/

Speeding? up in Polaris? Dude, are you fuckin' crazy? That place is either usually really jammed or crawling with PoPo's that late at night. And on a saturday??????

[Vad]

Speeding? up in Polaris? Dude, are you fuckin' crazy? That place is either usually really jammed or crawling with PoPo's that late at night. And on a saturday??????

I got lucky =X

[Kazuya]

I'm tellin' ya homes, don't fuck with Columbus Police. They will fuckin' getcha. Oh, and Valleyview police ftmfl.

[Vad]

I'm tellin' ya homes, don't fuck with Columbus Police. They will fuckin' getcha. Oh, and Valleyview police ftmfl.

I try not to fuck with them.

[Pinky]

Dragon Ball: DA GUD VERSION

The opening sequence is taken directly from chapter one of the manga. In early morning, Goku is praying to the golden four-star dragon ball. A montage of him doing early morning chores, and catching a giant fish. This exemplifies his unusual strength contrasted with his young age.

On the return home with the fish a car crashes into him. It is driven by Bulma who has her own five-star dragon ball, notices his tail which is uncommon in the world, and she tries to charm Goku of his but to no avail. Then she explains the mysterious lore behind the seven dragon balls. Goku still refuses to lend his dragon ball away but he agrees to join Bulma in a quest to find the others.

Goku & Bulma use the Dragon Radar to track down the next dragon ball and are led to Fire Mountain, a mountain that is literally on fire. They are attacked by the ogre Ox King, and Goku easily defeats him. Ox King remembers the heaven's staff that Goku wields as Gohan's, Goku's adoptive grandfather. They are able to explain that they are after the dragon ball which is somewhere on the inflamed mountain. Ox Kings tells Goku of his former master, the Turtle Hermit, who owns a magical fan that is enchanted with the power to blow out any fire.

Goku travels to Roshi's island alone. He finds the hermit there watching television, a women's exercise program that shows many provocative angles. Goku interrupts Roshi, and explains his purpose of the dragon balls and Ox King at the Fire Mountain. After failing to find the magical fan, Roshi himself travels with Goku back to Fire Mountain. Once there, Roshi cuts a deal with Bulma: he gets to see her panties to put the fire out. She agrees, doubting he'll be able to do it, and he performs the legendary Kamehameha attack obliterating the fire... along with the mountain itself.

The dragon ball is recovered, bringing the collection up to three, and Bulma flashes her panties. Then, she also notices that Roshi is wearing another dragon ball which she asks for. Roshi refuses, so Bulma flashes her panties again and takes it. Meanwhile, Goku practices the Kamehameha attack which destroys Bulma's car. Roshi is intrigued.

Ox King lends his vehicle to Bulma, a comically undersized motorcycle compared to his massive girth but suitable for her, that seats one. For Goku, Roshi gives him the magical flying cloud and recommends that the boy return to his island when the quest was over.

After making camp for the night, Bulma finally explains her goal of wishing for a boyfriend as she looks at her collection of three dragon balls. Later at night, they are caught unawares as a ninja sneaks into their camp and steals Bulma's dragon balls. In the morning, Bulma flips out but regains composure as she simply turns on her radar and the pair follow the signal to a desert palace. Here, the ninja is revealed to be Yamcha, a local desert bandit employed by the acclaimed Emperor Pilaf. Pilaf explains his grandiose plan of world domination through use of the dragon balls, and Yamcha chimes in with his plan to betray the minor emperor and wish for a girlfriend. Combined with Pilaf's own dragon ball, the emperor's collection is now up to four.

Goku & Bulma intrude on the scene, and Goku and Yamcha fight it out. Goku uses his newly acquired Kamehameha attack and blasts a hole in the palace wall, stunning Yamcha, Pilaf, and all of the palace guards. Goku demands the dragon balls be returned, but then a giant mech crashes through the wall followed by dozens of well-armed soldiers. They bare the Red Ribbon insignia. The giant mech smacks both Goku and Yamcha down, then takes Bulma and Pilaf's five dragon balls and crashes through another wall on its way out. Goku and Bulma leave in pursuit of the Red Ribbon force. Yamcha, still intent on carrying out his own wish, follows behind our main protagonists.

Back at Roshi's island, Baba the Witch floats into the lonely house on her crystal ball while the old man is once again watching his programs. She comes with a warning of a terrible impending doom that threatens the entire world. In response to this, Roshi demands that she prepare the "mafuba" magic, which will kill him when he uses it to seal up the oncoming evil, saying that there is no other way. Elsewhere, a shadowy figure is using a spell to track the dragon balls and sees that five of them are moving towards a sixth, while the figure himself holds the seventh.

On his magical cloud, Goku flies into the Red Ribbon's elaborate stronghold just behind the giant mech with Bulma straggling far, far behind. Goku loses the mech as he engages the bulk of the Red Ribbon fodder army and begins fighting his way toward the central complex. Seeing that the army is no match for the kid, Commander Red immediately prepares to flee with his boxed collection of five dragon balls (four recently taken from Pilaf's palace and one of his own) and tells his second-in-command Vice-Commander Black that he couldn't care less if the Red Ribbon army fell apart because his plan was to use the dragon balls to become taller, not to take over the world as had been assumed. Black then kills Red out of rage, takes the dragon balls, and boards a super-giant-mega mech for a showdown with Goku. That battle ends in a fiery explosion that destroys the mech, levels most of the stronghold, and mortally wounds Goku.

Just before Bulma arrives on the scene someone suddenly appears and takes the dragon ball box, thanks Goku for his "help" and proclaims that with these dragon balls the demon king will have them all (having assumed all six balls were in the box, not realizing that Goku still held one) and disappears. Yamcha, who had been watching the entire battle and heard, comes out as Bulma arrives. He explains that it was the demon king himself who now held the dragon balls, and that he was sure to make a horrible wish. But, Bulma takes Goku's shows Goku's dragon ball as proof that the demon king can't make his wish just yet. The demon king will certainly come for it when he figures out that it's missing, though.

Yamcha hatches a plan: Goku is the only person that Yamcha has ever seen with the rare power to launch tangible energy blasts. He might just have the power to defeat the demon kings. However, he would need to be healed, and quickly. There's a sky temple where lives a deity, Koren, that legends say has the power to recover even the most severe wounds. They moved Goku to Yamcha's speedy hover vehicle and immediately take off.

When the demon king discovers that he still lacks a dragon ball he decides to go after it personally. Along the way he runs into Roshi, who casts mafuba magic to seal the demon away, but fails to place him inside a jar. The spell fizzles, Roshi dies in vain.

At the base of heaven's tower the demon king catches up with Goku and Co. Yamcha tries to fight him, but fails miserably and is almost killed instantly. The demon king takes the dragon ball and wishes to be made young again, which happens and he becomes much stronger for it. He flies off into the horizon laughing madly, thinking himself invincible and not caring about Goku or Yamcha.

Up the tower, a small figure can be seen. There is a gleam of light. It's Yajerobi. He was sent with orders from Kami to deliver two magic beans to them: one for Goku and the other for Yamcha. They recover. Goku goes off to fight the last battle, and arrives at a city that is vastly changed: it is mostly destroyed and on fire, a fitting throne for the demon king. Goku transforms into the giant ape, dealing severe damage to the demon before losing his tail and reverting back to normal. The battle ends with Goku using a Kamehameha to propel himself at incredible speed and punching a hole through the demon.

The heroes talk about using the dragon balls to restore everything, bring Roshi back to life, etc etc. Roll the muthafukkin credits.