A world of problems

[James]

So... I don't know why I'm posting my troubles on here to begin with. To be honest I've always felt like everyone here is basically the only lot I could call my family (unrelated by blood, of course) and that I could open up without having to feel judged. Everyone has gone through their share of problems... the thought that plagues most is that after all is said and done, everyone retreats back to their own lives- be it better or worse than the problems I face now. In those cases it's like I've been left to wallow in my own remorse because I just don't have those people who can stay by my side 24/7 telling me things will be fine.

About seven months ago my fiance of four years up and left without a reason, staying as far away from physical contact from me as possible as I attempted to text and talk to her about the problem. She claimed it was because she was busy...

Three months go by and an unresolved issue arose.

Prior to the engagement, she and I had broken up for a period saying we need some time apart to be single. You know, quality time with ourselves to just stretch out a bit. When she went behind my back and dated this other guy I found out through a mutual friend. She continued to lie till she finally confessed and I reluctantly took her back and worked to rebuild my trust that she violated.

During the time she and I weren't together I was talking with a girl who did nude photography trying to get into the group "Suicide Girls", she asked me if I wanted to see the pictures and I agreed. This was a girl that my fiance knew so she later confronted me about it (the unresolved issue) and I said I had no idea what she was talking about basically because I felt I didn't need to explain anything to her given the comparison of what happened in our time apart.

She became friends with this girl and the chick basically told her I had flirted, asked so keenly for these photos that it was borderline obsessive.

I fired back that I never did such a thing (referring to ask so desperately for the pictures) but she insisted that I was lying. That I had been lying for the entire duration of the relationship, that there wasn't one thing that I could say or do to prove myself that I was telling the truth.

After all this she said she needed time to learn to trust me again. I waited... I waited four long months in solitude for her till a few nights ago she texts me out of the blue with "I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore." and that was that.

I've been trying to do what I can to talk to her but to no avail... this girl had taken four years of my life, one of which she devoted to causing me so much pain, and yet I still feel the need to attempt to reclaim the trust she feels she needs to replace in me. Four years... with everything to the names of our children planned, the course our lives would take after college, even where we wished to vacation in the winters all because she thought I wanted to cheat on her with someone else.

I don't know what I'm asking for by posting this... even if it will make a difference in how I feel about this. I know there will be responses like "I'm sorry to hear that" or others along those lines. I guess just having people hear my story makes the pain a little easier to tolerate...

[Psyren]

Im sorry to hear that. I understand where your coming from. Hit me up on aim or in a private message if you want or need someone to talk to.

aim- Tfk2k4

[Super Buu]

I feel it would be utterly hypocritical to give any advice on this subject, either way be it "try to get her back" or "move on", given that I'm in a similar (though much less intense) situation and pretty much refuse to take anyone's advice. And either piece of advice given badly could lead to a hell of a lot more pain.

That said, I know if I were you, I'd try to put things straight with both of the girls. Sounds like maybe the other girl was jealous or something, but maybe you should be clear with her exactly what she's taken away from you. Maybe that will clear her head and tempt her into telling the truth. Of course, the damage is done and there's no guarantee your fiancee will believe the truth.

This is a horrible situation and I really feel for you. Hit me up if you wanna talk more. Otherwise, best of luck and I really hope you find a way to put things right.

[Aero]

Keep your head up.

1 thing u gotta learn about women: They're always looking for better (in general. better shoes, better purses, better boyfriends). So they search for mistakes like this so it gives them a reason to leave you.

Honestly, I would be more mad than anything if I were you, not sad. She's leaving you under a suspicion that you may eventually cheat on her. And she might've already cheated on you, or atleast felt as if she had to lie about dating someone.

But I feel for ya man. Keep your head up

[James]

Thanks for the morale boost, everyone. Chances are I'll be definitely catching you guys on AIM who offered sooner or later. This whole ordeal has taken a lot out of me physically and emotionally so talking to anyone really helps clear my head at least for a bit. I can't say I truly know what to do in this given I don't really have any options on the matter but at least if I can figure out a way to get some closure, I think that would be all the better for me.

[Carter]

I have written whole paragraphs multiple times just to delete them while trying to post here. Nothing I have to offer for advice seems to hold any value except this, you have your whole life ahead of you. This is not the end of the world and although it may be end of this immediate life you had going, with one door closing another one opens. So, repair it, don't repair it. That really doesn't matter, just keep pursuing happiness and you'll get there. For now, I suggest you just let it lie, take your head off things. The less you dwell on it, the fastest recovery comes. Good luck with everything!

-*~Chase the dollar, not the skirt~*-