...

[Toshiro]

in the shallow thoughts that is my life, I stop & stare, looking around. I see the pictures of you hung there, all staring at me. I know you should be at my side, but you left me in the middle of the night. in the middle of my life. I lost all reason, all grasp of life. how can I walk these path's of gold, when all I see behind me is blood. the light that had once bathed me in light has left me in the middle of the night, I stare to the pictures of you, staring at what should be alive. I should be the one lying on the ground, dying. Not you, I was the one that was wrong, you where always right. I will never be anything, you where meant to be some thing. how can I live knowing you died becuase of me? Maybe I should join you there, on the ground, beside you? But you won't let me. You won't let me pick up the blade, that glided across your wirst, that drew that crimson liquid from your wirst. My light has gone now. You have left me in this darkness. What am I to do? Should I join you there? OR shall I sit back & stare at would should have been, but will never be? IThe light that had bathed me.. You where the one. The light. The cure to my posionus life. Now it's infected again. Maybe I should just join you there. To die..



I just wrote that.. Any comment's?

[Kami]

What's with everyone's hang up on death?

[Rem-13]

Life isnt to popular at the moment. People begin to look for alternatives.

[Kami]

The critisism I have for you is that it's nothing horribly original, typical teen angst woe is me kind of thing.

[Hellfighter 17]

It is well-written, but I do not think that you are conveying your emotions very well. I do not feel like stating my reasons here, but if you would like to hear more of my insight, just PM me asking to do so.