Thought I'd announce

[Reijin]

Just thought I'd warn everyone, that Vejita Jr. has ascended to SSJ4.

Thank you for your time.

[Reijin]

The moment VJ got onto aim whining about being the guy paying the bills around here and being half the power of everyone here.

[Toshiro]

Originally posted by Vegeta Jr
Or wait.. if I get you all to worship me ingame, I would turn into a God! :o


<3 GURPS Discworld

I shall never worship you, unless you get me a gift! ^_^

[Reijin]

I shower with TP. I also use it when I do number 2.

[Reijin]

My right hand is usually busy with something else.

[Reijin]

My Sharingan is badass.

"I put on my robe and wizard hat..."

[Toshiro]

Originally posted by Vegeta Jr

Originally posted by Janemba

Originally posted by Vegeta Jr
Or wait.. if I get you all to worship me ingame, I would turn into a God! :o


<3 GURPS Discworld

I shall never worship you, unless you get me a gift! ^_^

You mean the gift that you're playing on Chubbs and addicted to it? :o Worship me bish! xD


Ofcourse.. I would grow in power as soon as more ppl worship me. And ofcourse I look out for my worshippers. Especially my apostles would have 'Gifts' and such. /gg

Give me 200 TP & I shall become an apostle.

[The Not Cool Not Tapion]

I think I'm too young for this thread. O_o

[Broli]

Originally posted by Lord Slug

Originally posted by Reijin
My Sharingan is badass.

"I put on my robe and wizard hat..."

Best Cyber EVER....EVAR

Rhinos don't wear shirts.

[Reijin]

Everyone else is going to feel like they are on the wrong end of a private joke. XD

I just peed in your laundry hamper!

[Reijin]

just found this again... Trying to remember where I found that cyber from on the first few posts XD It was hilarious, I know that much.

[Jewtastic]

Albino Blacksheep.

I wasn't looking at the dates so I thought you had actualy found VJ. Anyways, yea then I saw Majin Buu1111 and realized I was not him anymore so yea.

[Reijin]

I just found them there, but I'd actually seen them all on some other site in order once.

"I put on my robe and wizard hat!"

[Jewtastic]

j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.

bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.

j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.

j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.

bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.

[Reijin]

Here they are, and seeing the pirate one again was so worth it. "HARRR!"

bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?
bloodninja: What like gardening an shit?
MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.
bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
*pause*
MommyMelissa: is that it?
bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
*pause*
bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this shit is HOT.
MommyMelissa: ....
bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
MommyMelissa: What the fuck is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
MommyMelissa: whatever.


bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
DirtyKate: OK, but don't tell anybody ;-)
DirtyKate: Who are you?
bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car
bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
bloodninja: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!
bloodninja: Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate: Umm...Yes
DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
*pause*
DirtyKate: I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza.
bloodninja: I'm on my way now though
DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now.
bloodninja: How did you know?
bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKate: Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
bloodninja: So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself
bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyKate: What the fuck?
DirtyKate: You perverted piece of shit!!
DirtyKate: Fuck


Click Here to browse over 50,000 rare vinyl titles

Bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.
Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay.
Bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.
Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough.
Bloodninja: I smack you thick booty.
Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good.
Bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.
Bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.
Sarah19fca: you like that?
Bloodninja: I peel some bananas.
Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?
Bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.
Sarah19fca: Peanuts?
Bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.
Sarah19fca: What are you talking about?
Bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.
Sarah19fca: This is stupid.
Bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
Bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
Bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.
Sarah19fca: /ignore
Bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a bitch anyway.
Bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.


sweet17: Hi!
bloodninja: hello
bloodninja: who is this?
sweet17: just a someone
bloodninja: A someone I know?
sweet17: nope
bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
sweet17: well sorrrrrry
sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you
bloodninja: why?
sweet17: nevermind your an jerk
bloodninja: Hey wait a minute!
sweet17: yes?
bloodninja: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
sweet17: paranoid?
bloodninja: yes
sweet17: of what?
sweet17: me?
bloodninja: No. I'm in hiding
sweet17: LOL
bloodninja: Don't fucking laugh at me!
bloodninja: This shit is serious!
sweet17: What are you hiding from?
bloodninja: The cops
sweet17: gimme a fucking break
bloodninja: I'm serious
sweet17: I don't get it
bloodninja: The cops are after me
sweet17: For what?
bloodninja: I'm wanted in three states
sweet17: For???
bloodninja: It's kindof embarrasing
bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You are fucking sick
bloodninja: Send me your picture
sweet17: why?
bloodninja: so I know you aren't one of them
sweet17: One of what?
bloodninja: The cops
sweet17: I'm not a cop i told you
bloodninja: Then send me your picture
sweet17: hold on
bloodninja: Hurry up
bloodninja: Are you there?
bloodninja: Fuck you, cop!
sweet17: Hey sorry
sweet17: I had to do something for my mom
bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me
bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities
bloodninja: Weren't you!?
sweet17: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU ASSHOLE!
bloodninja: Then send me the picture
sweet17: What's your e-mail?
bloodninja: Just send it through here
sweet17: alright
<*transfers picture*>
sweet17: Did you get it?
bloodninja: Hold on. I'm looking
sweet17: That was me back in may
sweet17: I've lost weight since then
bloodninja: I hope so
sweet17: what?!?
sweet17: that hurt my feelings
bloodninja: did it?
sweet17: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now
bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
sweet17: i guess
bloodninja: Alright let me find it
sweet17: kks
bloodninja: Okay here it is.
<*transfers picture*>
sweet17: this isn't you
bloodninja: I'll be damned if it ain't!
sweet17: You don't look like that
bloodninja: How the hell do you know?
sweet17: cause your profile has another picture
bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake
sweet17:
bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops
sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries
sweet17: Go fuck yourself
bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture
bloodninja: Now my unit won't get hard for a week
sweet17: I shouldn't have sent you that picture
sweet17: You've done nothing but slam me
sweet17: you hurt me
bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!
bloodninja: Why would I do that?
sweet17: I can't believe that cops are after you
bloodninja: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap
sweet17: FUCK YOU!!!!
bloodninja: You'd break both of his legs
sweet17: You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE!
sweet17: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
bloodninja: Ok. I'm sorry
sweet17: No you arent
bloodninja: You're right. I'm not
bloodninja: HAARRRRR!
sweet17: I'm done with you
bloodninja: Aww. I'm sorry
sweet17: I'm putting you on ignore
bloodninja: Wait a sec
bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot
bloodninja: Wanna start over?
sweet17: no
bloodninja: I'll eat your kitty
sweet17: You'll what?
bloodninja: You heard me
bloodninja: I said I'd eat your kitty
sweet17: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
sweet17: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
bloodninja: Well I'm not like most men
bloodninja: I get excited in different ways
sweet17: Like what?
bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?
sweet17: I don't know
bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no
sweet17: I'm afraid to
bloodninja: Why?
sweet17: cause
bloodninja: cause why?
sweet17: well lets see
sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
sweet17: doesn't that seem strange to you?
bloodninja: nope
sweet17: well its strange to me
bloodninja: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
sweet17: I didn't say that
bloodninja: So is that a yes?
sweet17: I guess so
bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though
bloodninja: Are you willing?
sweet17: What do you need me to do?
bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate
sweet17: ???
bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
bloodninja: ok?
bloodninja: hello?
sweet17: You can't be serious
bloodninja: Oh yes I am!
bloodninja: It's my fantasy
sweet17: this is retarded
bloodninja: Do you want it or not?
sweet17: Yes I want it
bloodninja: Then you'll do it for me?
sweet17: sure
bloodninja: Ok. Here we go
bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs
bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty
bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth cunt
sweet17: mmmm yeah
bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp
sweet17: harr
bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
bloodninja: Your picture was really bad
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke
bloodninja: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth
bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose
bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity
sweet17: mmmmmm you are good
bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I suckharder
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: HARRRRRRR
bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands
bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: this is stupid
bloodninja: ...still limp
bloodninja: Do it!
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your asshole
bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass
bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass
sweet17: WTF?!?!?
bloodninja: They stink really bad
sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg
bloodninja: I ram it up your ass
sweet17: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!!
bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head
bloodninja: And turn you into a fucking candy apple...
bloodninja: I kick you in the face!
sweet17: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!
bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
bloodninja: Your parrot flys away
bloodninja: ...going limp again.
bloodninja: Hello?
bloodninja: Say it!
bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!


bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey....
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty Fuck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't fuck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of shit!
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?


bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet
j_gurli3: thats it
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn
bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now


BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the fuck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh shit
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you fuck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh fuck
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

[Violet]

oh, my God, I can't stop laughing. XD That pirate one was fucking awesome. XDXD

[Sammah]

HAHAHA omg my side hurts, omg i can't stop...oh shit, hilarious just hilarious!

[Old Dave]

LMAO 8o ;( 8o

[Spencinator]

Heh, very funny Reijin, very funny. xD



I found some myself, the ones you posted were on the website I found these on, Reijin. xD


Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of
barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.
Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?
Wellhung: OK
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.
Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.
Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.
Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.
Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.
Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.
Wellhung: I'll pay for it.
Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.
Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?
Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.
Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.
Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.
Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!
Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.
Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.
Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.
Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.
Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.
Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.
Sweetheart: What's the matter?
Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.
Sweetheart: Are you OK?
Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.
Sweetheart: Can I help?
Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?
Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.
Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?
Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
Wellhung: I found it.
Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.
Wellhung: Me too.
Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other.
Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?
Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.
Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!
Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.
Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.
Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.
Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!
Sweetheart: What's the matter now?
Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.
Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.
Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.
Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!
Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.
Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!
Wellhung: I'm flaccid.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.
Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.
Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.
Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.
Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.
Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.
Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!
Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!
Sweetheart: <logged off>

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Practice safe cybersex. Enjoy

hotstud69: Hello there
blondebabe4u: Hi
hotstud69: What is your name?
blondebabe4u: Sandy, urs?
hotstud69: Bob, nice to meet you.. what are you doing tonight?
blondebabe4u: Nothing, just chatting, u?
hotstud69: not too much, just sitting around... what are you wearing?
blondebabe4u: oh just my thong and a tank top.
hotstud69: oh wow, I would love to see that, what do you look like?
blondebabe4u: I am 5'6" blonde hair, green eyes, 120 lbs, you?
hotstud69: i am 6'0" 175, brown hair, blue eyes, and tan
blondebabe4u: you sound very handsome
hotstud69: how about I pull that tank top off?
blondebabe4u: Oh Bob, i would love for you too....
hotstud69: Oh yea, those look great... they feel nice too
blondebabe4u: yes bob, my 36D's like that, you are good
hotstud69: oh yes, they feel so good, I am squeezing them..
blondebabe4u: yes bob, you know what you are doing.
hotstud69: Oh yea, I am getting so excited
blondebabe4u: need me to help you there Bob
hotstud69: oh yea, let me unzip for you
blondebabe4u: oh wow bob, you have a nice one
hotstud69: OH SHIT
blondebabe4u: What?
hotstud69: SON OF A BITCH!!!
blondebabe4u: whats wrong?
hotstud69: Got it stuck in the zipper...
blondebabe4u: What?
hotstud69: oh god, I am bleeding.....
blondebabe4u: bob, are you ok?
hotstud69: OMG... OMG...
blondebabe4u: Bob??
hotstud69: I am feeling faint... blood everywhere...
blondebabe4u: are you ok?
hotstud69: HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!
blondebabe4u: what bob what??
hotstud69: IT FEEL OFF!!!!!!!!!!!
blondebabe4u: fell off?
hotstud69: it is on the floor, laying there... I am looking at it, damn, thought it would be bigger.........
blondebabe4u: call an abulance...
hotstud69: I can't
blondebabe4u: why
hotstud69: Because I am on the computer
blondebabe4u: well get off
hotstud69: the last time tried to get off, my dick fell off........
blondebabe4u: bob??
blondebabe4u: bob??
blondebabe4u: bob??
hotstud69: has left the room




EDIT: Found one more. =D

evil_sarah: So you like bbws?
VictimX4: Nope...I Luv BBW"S...;o)))
evil_sarah: You're sort of cute.
VictimX4: ThanXXX...;o)))
VictimX4: Am Truly Honored...
evil_sarah: You look like you really know how to handle a woman like me.
VictimX4: 24/7...........;o)))
evil_sarah: So what would you do to me if I was there right now?
VictimX4: cover you in cane syrup and start licking you from your toes up to your ears...
evil_sarah: Mmmmm. That sounds good. Then what?
VictimX4: rub you down with baby oil and make HOT SLIPPERY LOVE to You For Hours...
evil_sarah: I only have 5 toes.
evil_sarah: Is that a problem for you?
VictimX4: is ok with me...
evil_sarah: Ok.
evil_sarah: I lost one of my legs in Desert Storm.
evil_sarah: They didn't show any of it on CNN, but it was hell over there.
evil_sarah: I was really in the shit.
VictimX4: am a vet also...
evil_sarah: yeah. From what war?
VictimX4: Nam Era...
evil_sarah: Really?
evil_sarah: You kill a lot of gooks over there?
VictimX4: some...was in Armor...a Tanker...
evil_sarah: You kill any women and children?
VictimX4: not that I Know of...
evil_sarah: I did.
evil_sarah: I hit them with the flame thrower.
evil_sarah: They tried to tell me they were civilians but I knew better.
evil_sarah: So I torched them.
evil_sarah: One of them threw a grenade and blew off one of my legs.
VictimX4: was pretty lucky...came back "Almost" like I left...
evil_sarah: What do you mean "Almost"?
VictimX4: still think about tymes...there...but ok Physically...
evil_sarah: Yeah? Did you ever make a neclace out of ears?
VictimX4: you never really forget...
evil_sarah: I did.
VictimX4: no...tried very hard to keep my Sanity...
evil_sarah: I still have a finger neclace that I wear every day.
evil_sarah: It stunk for a while but now it's just like a bunch of beef jerky.
VictimX4: did not get to bring anything back...
evil_sarah: They didn't want to let me keep it on the transport back so I had to hide it in my ass.
evil_sarah: It hurt. The fingernails kept scratching me.
evil_sarah: Let's not talk about those times.
evil_sarah: You were just about to oil up my stump.
VictimX4: ok...
evil_sarah: Keep going. Tell me what you would do next.
VictimX4: completely lost the mode...sorry...
VictimX4: mood...
evil_sarah: Come on. Pretend I'm one of those Saigon whores.
VictimX4: mind kinda wonders off to those tymes...
VictimX4: they were not really all that hot...alll skin and bones...
VictimX4: not cuddly at all...
evil_sarah: Tell me I'm a slut and pull my hair.
VictimX4: I like to do that...;o)))
evil_sarah: What's up with that link on your profile? You have herpes?
VictimX4: yes...one thing I did get to bring back...
evil_sarah: I got it too from Kuwait.
evil_sarah: No big deal. I can deal with it.
VictimX4: me also...
evil_sarah: Does yours itch?
VictimX4: am pretty lucky...only a few tymes a yr...
evil_sarah: Sometimes i can't tell if it's the herpes or the vaginosis. But it itches like crazy.
evil_sarah: It smells horrible too. Like a burning tire.
evil_sarah: So come on. You were in the middle of oiling me up.
evil_sarah: Let's get it on.
VictimX4: Sorry ...maybe some other tyme...maybe???
evil_sarah: No. Come on. You got me all excited now.
evil_sarah: Don't you want to have cyber sex with me?
VictimX4: can not concentrate right now...
evil_sarah: Why not?
evil_sarah: You're not having flashbacks to the Nam are you?
VictimX4: not really flashbacks...just bad memeories
evil_sarah: Like what?
evil_sarah: You hearing voices?
evil_sarah: You got gooks in the peremiter?
VictimX4: you always hear their voices and see their faces...but worst yet is when the faces
VictimX4: you see is their Death Face...not when they were alive...
evil_sarah: Oh yeah. Now your're getting me hot. Keep going.
evil_sarah: I'm sucking on one of the fingers from my neclace right now. Hello?
VictimX4: have to hit the showers. Got to get up for work tomorrow.
evil_sarah: No don't go!
evil_sarah: I'm almost finished.
evil_sarah: I'm fingering my self with one of the bigger ones from my neclace.
VictimX4: don't have tyme
evil_sarah: This fuckign vaginosois. Makes it look like it's covered with cottage cheese.
VictimX4: sounds nice. Bye.
evil_sarah: You pussy!
evil_sarah: A real man would at least finish a woman off.
evil_sarah: You have no backbone.
VictimX4: But I love you! You are a bbw!!
evil_sarah: That's why you couldn't bring yourself to torch those women and kids In the Nam.
evil_sarah: I once burned a kid to death with a pack of matched
evil_sarah: because my flamethrower was out of gas.
VictimX4: Bye.
evil_sarah: I smuggled one guy's brains back in a mayonnaise jar.
evil_sarah: I put it on crackers and eat it at special occasions.
VictimX4: You're sick. Goodbye.
evil_sarah: Mostly on Holidays. I don't have much left.
evil_sarah: Are you still there?
evil_sarah: ANSWER ME!

[Hellfighter 17]

I can't believe I missed this thread last year. It must have been when I moved. Darnit. >.<

The sorcerer one owned.