I'm kind of down...

[Banned Dana]

Ok. Not many people probably know this, but for some odd reason, I trust you guys enough to share this with you. Not a pity party either, just a feeling I need to put to rest.

#1 - Before Birth

My mom did pot, smoked, drank, and had sex with MANY men while I was still inside her.

#2 - Age 1-2 years old.

my mom dropped me in a boiling hot pan of baking grease, hung me with an extension cord, was only allowed to eat once every two weeks, was only allowed to drink from the toilet, and had to sleep in the trunk of a car every night...and we lived in a huge house...was sexually abused, and a few others I'm trying to figure out if they were lies or not...

#3 - Age 7-10

Tried to commit suicide various times...IE: Bashing my head against a concrete wall in school...lots of blood. Drank 10...yes...10 bottles of Windex, chased quickly by 20 asprin.

#4 - Age 20

Married my wife, and caused serious issues due to past mistakes I made with my ex-girlfriends. ((they cheated on me...all three of them...and each got pregnate))...so yeah...a serious lack of trust.

#5 - Age 21

Finally got some "happy pills".

Wellbutrin, 300 mg....Respidal 1mg. Doing much better now...feel extremely happy most of the time...but my wife is at work and I'm feeling a bit depressed and seriuosly on the verge of tears so yeah...


no need to lock this thread. If anyone would like to reply...they are more than welcome to share they're thoughts or their own past issues.

[Hellfighter 17]

Try to not become dependant on the pills, that could only make things worse. You peobably also need to learn how to be alone and happy. I wish you the best of luck, and don't worry.

I can't say I've gone through quite the same experiences, but learning to be alone (I know you have a wife, but I'm sure you get what I mean) and happy/content can help you greatly, I hope.

[Ruhiel]

O.O

Holy shit man. That's... horrible. I can't try to relate to anything that's happened to you, but just keep moving forward, and don't look back at the past unless its just calm remeniscence(sp?). Be careful with those pills, and try to focus on the positive things in life. Trust me, just making yourself stay positive helps you feel better all the time.

But I do know what you mean about the feeling lonely thing. Sometimes it hurts bad, but those feelings pass. Just keep looking ahead, and tell yourself "Hey, she'll be home soon anyways."

[Android-18]

I'd share my experiences but it'd probably depress me.

You're an adult, you have the chance to make up for the past issues in your life. You h ave the chance to bring your own children into the world and give them the best life you can, to hopefully give them a life you didn't have. You should not think of the bad tiumes, but of the good. It helps to write poetry, doesn't even have to make sense. Write a poem about the pain, and you'll be surprised at how releasing it is. I know this is silly, but it's good for the mind if you evenm write your pain on some paper, and then burn it or rip it (kind of Wiccan, it's also good therapy).

Think only of good, and on the bright side. When you're alone, relax, have a bubble bath and enjoy the quiet (god knows you'll miss it if you have kids ). Listen to happy music, or watch good happy shows on TV. It's all mind over matter.

Also, I was supposed to go on "happy pills" but my mom wouldn't let me. I struggled through depression for a few years, but writing helped. My dad was on pills and although he looked happy, it was obvious that the pills were having side affects. I've heard they can make you sluggish, and won't fix everything. As HF17 said, don't depend on them, they won't help forever. I suggest doing some good old fashioned mending of your own. Tell yourself that you had a hard life, admit that you would change it if you could, but also tell yourself that you can't. Tell yourself you're strong, and you're making up for that bad childhood and you're going to turn over a nerw leaf. You won't let depression get to you.

[The Terminator]

Ho-ly shit dude. Thats horrible...

Pretty much what everyone else said, and if you get really depressed; hit me up on AIM and i'll make an ass of myself to cheer you up

[The Terminator]

Originally posted by Lord Slug

Originally posted by Android 16
Ho-ly shit dude. Thats horrible...

Pretty much what everyone else said, and if you get really depressed; hit me up on AIM and i'll make an ass of myself to cheer you up

Likewise bro. You already know.

Also you must realize that after preforming that suicide pharse and you're still here.....it's for a reason.

The other green d00d is right, it must be your destiny to lose your soul to Chubbs and live out the rest of your days writing kickass roleplays...

I know it is, it says so in the Bible....somewhere.

[Kami]

If I ever run into you we'll go out for a drink.

[Toshiro]

Originally posted by Kami
If I ever run into you we'll go out for a drink.

ditto

[Super Buu]

Man, I'm kind of lost for words. I'm not surprised if you feel depressed when thinking back about being treated like that. I was never happy as a kid (I didn't find out I have mild Asperger Syndrome until a couple of years ago) but I never went through what you had to.

I know you might still feel injustice at having had such a hard time, but try and relish the fact that it's over. You're in control of your own life now and you don't ever have to go back to it. My dad had a similar childhood, met his dad only twice, had a really abusive mother and was the oldest of 12 kids. He decided that he'd make sure he treated his children differently, and although he's not 'the greatest parent', he's made a pretty big improvement from his own. So don't get too down over it - you can show your own kids what a real parent should be, and that's something to be happy about 8)