BJs Throne of Honesty

[Burter Jr]

Name copyrighted by 13. =o

I'll tell you what I think of rps here. I won't be giving huge details, just brief explanations. Do not abuse this, only use this for rps you really want to be judged on. I reserve the right to refuse critiqueing anyone

[Yamu]

I'll pop this thread's cherry.

Our Spar

Any of the posts from our spar would be fine. Bazam!

[Burter Jr]

DA Only. Loser! =P

[Burter Jr]

[19:50:04] Goku Jr: I recommend reading it, I'll try to make them smaller in the future. But please read it and give me a tiny bit of feedback in the throne.

'Kay

I thought it was hilarious. I was bored towards the start. Too much description bores me but it picked up quick after the first couple paragraphs when GJ met the staff member. I thought he was just gonna be a good little boy and take it like a bitch. Fortunetly, GJ didn't.

Still a little much to read for something that really could have been pulled off the same way shorter. But overall, good way to show your character's personality. I was skeptical that GJ seemed more intelligent then a kid would be, so I'm happy to see he has a little childish personality.

Overall, good development, average roleplay

[Toshiro]

Hit me on my Restraunt post!

[Burter Jr]

I liked it. Good development, good length. I like Gohan's teenager personality (in that he's always thinking about fucking girls). It's cool watching him deveop a crush, kinda like he's arguing with the little devil and angel on his shoulder.

Good roleplay

[Spencinator]

Whatcha think of my shop post?

[Old Captain Silver]

My joining post?

[Burter Jr]

Originally posted by Panbuukin
Whatcha think of my shop post?

I smiled at the SNES bit. You have a good, funny character that I can get into.

It was okay. Coulda been better, but got the point across.

Originally posted by Captain Silver
My joining post?

Good writing. The content itself left me bored and I ended up skimming the end. It was just your normal *man walks up, signs papers, flexes muscles and leaves* post.

[Spencinator]

Yeah, the post wasn't one of my best, glad ya like my character. ^_^

Oh, had one more for ya.
Whatcha think of my sign up post?

[Violet]

Mr. BJ, if I may ask, how was mine? I know it isn't one of my best, but this is all I could do without my word processor. Just straight out of my head and onto the little typy boxy thingy. <3

Linky

?Gracias, mi Azulito!

[Burter Jr]

Originally posted by Panbuukin
Yeah, the post wasn't one of my best, glad ya like my character. ^_^

Oh, had one more for ya.
Whatcha think of my sign up post?

I'm gonna skip over it, since I just gave you a review

[Old Captain Silver]

Ugh. Your right BJ. I'm kinda loosing my writing touch. I spent most of it doing my Spiritken training. Though the rest of my post will be better! w00t!

[Burter Jr]

Actually, I disagre. It was great writing, just the content was boring. It's like having a action movie with great special effects, but no sound.

[Spencinator]

Originally posted by Burter Jr

Originally posted by Panbuukin
Yeah, the post wasn't one of my best, glad ya like my character. ^_^

Oh, had one more for ya.
Whatcha think of my sign up post?

I'm gonna skip over it, since I just gave you a review

Alrighty, I'll just go ask later.

[Burter Jr]

Originally posted by Violet
Mr. BJ, if I may ask, how was mine? I know it isn't one of my best, but this is all I could do without my word processor. Just straight out of my head and onto the little typy boxy thingy. <3

Eh, I liked it. It amused me mildly. Showed enough of the character for me to have a good idea of how she'll act to strangers in the actual game, if she makes it.

The actually writing was below average. Good description and word choice, but it didn't flow. Kind of moved right from one thing to the next without much transition. Being an unfortunet victim of doing this all the time myself, I symphathize and it's difficult to master.

[Burter Jr]

Pick one, please, and I will

[Retane]

Hmm how was my Sign up post?

[Burter Jr]

I haven't read the spar post yet, Olibu.

Retane:

I loved it. You've come so far from when you first joined a couple years ago, it's a shame you keep having to start with new characters. Great writing, good length, and an excellent character.

Bujin:

My only gripe was you bringing in things about Bujin's past, out of nowhere. It's like you could have been talking about candy and then we go into nuclear fission. You have to bring things like out real subtly.

Besides that, good job.

Hasky:

Excellent job.

[Burter Jr]

I'm going to sleep. I'll do one for you tommorrow, Olibu

If people really want my thoughts, you should give me your's on my new personal saga in the Earth forum. Post thoughts in RPG Discussion /cheap plug