Old Captain Silver
Unregistered
Towards the end of the golf course, Dave hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing every buttercup in the patch.
All of a sudden POOF! In a flash and a puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. She said "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to grow those buttercups?"
"For doing what you did, you won't have any butter for the rest of your life!"
Then POOF, she was gone.
After Dave Recovered from the shock, he telled for his friend, "Fred, where are you?"
Fred Yells back, "I'm over here in the pussy willows."
Dave Shouts back "DON'T SWING, FRED, for the love of god, DON'T SWING!!!!"
Made this mature cause this joke is really mature. Post more jokes if you feel like it
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It'd be funnier if I hadn't already heard the one about the farmer boy and the father kicking the cat xD
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Quote:Originally posted by Burter Jr
olo
LFOR, NOOB.
Old Captain Silver
Unregistered
shut up kirano
I got a new one
Why did the cloud wannabe cross the road?
Because he thought he was cloud! sux I know and I'm not intending to be mean here either
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I wish my grass was emo, 'cuz then it'd cut itself.
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I missed that one, Tap. =/
In the same vein, a man goes to Heaven, steps in the pearly gates, and registers his name with St. Peter. "Sexy," Pete says. "Looks like everything's in order. You're good for Heaven."
The man thanked Peter, but had a worry. "What about my brother," the man said. "He died yesterday, and I want to know if he made it."
Pete checked the list. "Oh, 'fraid not. You can see him from here, though. He's right over there."
The man followed the pointing pencap of St. Peter, and noticed his brother, sitting on a small sandy island, with a blonde bombshell in one arm, and a keg of beer in the other.
"That's hell?"
"Yup," Pete said.
"Explain."
"Lemme put it this way," Pete explained. "The keg of beer has a hole in it, and the blonde doesn't."
"Ah. Righty-o."
=============
The actual joke is a bit different than that, but I'm in a writin' kind of mood, so I stylized that a bit.
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You miss a lot of jokes, eh?
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The only one that even got a shimmer of a smile from me was Silver's. All lame. =\
"We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl."
![[Image: HFSeventeen.jpg]](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v687/hf17/HFSeventeen.jpg)
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HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
I wish my teachers were like that.
![[Image: uno.jpg]](http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l94/freakydink/uno.jpg)
Altyr: "its a big scary world, and I love high school"
shifobrains: I hate high school
Becca: I didnt graduate ;-;
Altyr: YOU GUYS FUCK UP GOOD ANALOGIES
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Quote:Originally posted by Hellfighter 17
The only one that even got a shimmer of a smile from me was Silver's. All lame. =\
Again, I'll point out that your sense of humor is like a wet plastic bag, inside out. It makes no logical sense, seems to have no purpose, has almost no weight, and is scorned by anyone who walks past it.
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At least I'm worth a simile.
"We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl."
![[Image: HFSeventeen.jpg]](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v687/hf17/HFSeventeen.jpg)
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Quote:Originally posted by Majin BuuBasically...it would take an idiot not to know. Was quite funny though 
He's young MB. It's all good.
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I couldn't make the connection. There were about three possibilities for that purple cloud thing that I sorted out (including the one Tapkar pointed out), and I couldn't find any of them funny. I thought I missed the joke, but looks like I was dead on. Pity.