C&C please

[John Doe]

My latest RP may be short, but I would still like to see any C&C on me. I understand that my spelling needs work... but any advice would be nice.

EDIT BY TRUNKS: http://cdbzrpg.dracondev.com/forum/threa...16526&sid=

[Orion]

No need for that Hercule. I've added Koola's link to his post.

[John Doe]

Thanks Hercule! I know I'm not the best writer, and have a nasty habit to turn works of art into works of... well, you get the point. I'll also be using the FAQ more offen. It's also kinda hard to swich from who's fat, pink, and no has no self esteam, to a changeling who has power, strength, and pride. I'll try and break myself of my habits. Thanks again!

[Ander]

It's really short, so there's not much room for actual plot development, especially since it is devoured by dialogue. And Hercule's right: the whole tyrant "you're-too-weak-to-hold-my-attention-because-I'm-so-powerful" bit is completely tired. Also, try writing your posts in Word, because your spelling kind of sucks. You have a lot of room for improvement, and this is meant as a positive. People who have areas they need to change in often become better writers, because they integrate so many different things into their styles.