Social Ineptitude

[Bojack]

So I'm outside today and for the first time in months, I really wished I hadn't gone outside. It's warm out now, and you know what that means...

PEOPLE!

Yes, these disgusting, annoying obstacles that clog our streets and thrive off eye contact are back. And I don't like it.

I don't like people. Not that I don't like them, just how people make me feel. Being around other human beings makes me uncomfortable and paranoid and nervous. I can't walk down a sidewalk filled with people without fidgeting (doing something to my face, adjusting me headphones, adjusting my bookbag, changing the song on my Ipod, etc... just anything to keep me 'busy'). I don't understand what that is... why can't I just walk down the street without behaving like a crack ho? Around people, walking isn't even motor to me... it becomes an effort and I start to worry that I'm doing it 'wrong' (I can't explain... hopefully this has happened to some of you before).

And then eye contact, wtf is up with that? What am I supposed to do? I see someone walking the other way and I may completely turn my head and attention to something across the street. I know it's apparent that I'm doing it to the other person, but I'm at a loss. Especially when there's nobody in front of you, and nobody in front of them, and there's like fourty feet before you pass each other. What's literally going through my mind here:

Oh shit, here we go. Did she see me? Nah she didn't... if she didn't I'm good, just act like you didn't see her and- fuck. She saw me. No I gotta make eye contact... but when and for how long? Eh, Ill just look at my feet... no dumbass, that would be a whole ten seconds of looking at your feet... everyone will think you are retarded. Ok, just look straight forward, I don't care how obvious it is, I can pretend something really important is going on up there. Maybe change the song you're listening to... but I like this song and the solo is about to come up. Oh the hell with it...

Then I'll take my Ipod out my pocket and go to another song. Or just spin the clickwheel for no reason other than to be looking at my Ipod. Then I'll encounter the same problem in a couple more minutes, and the process will continue.

Because of this I hate warm weather. And being outside. I like bitter cold where nobody has the balls to go outside. But today I realized that is not normal, and finally I want to change. I just want to like life and not feel like I'm under a microscope every waking second of the day. I want to live, damnit. I want to be comfortable with who I am.

Tell me how.

[Kirano]

I can't help you with paranoia. I'm the most paranoid human being alive. At least I think I am the most. But I can help you with your nervousness. The way to break away from this feeling is to think of everyone as either below your level, or not important. That way you'll feel confortable around people. It'll boost you confidence too.

[Tobias]

I know exactly what you're saying, Bido, especially the eye contact.

[Downy Peach]

I don't really know what to say. I lack any social skills whatsoever. Infact, my way of socializing usually consists of flicking someone the bird or just nodding in response.

[Lucifer]

Well, since I make going out and meeting people something of an art form:

Never lead in with your personality because everyone'll hate you.
Or maybe that's just me. When people get to know me they like me despite me being a dick because I charm them so much beforehand. =D

Always worked for me.

[Nappa]

I have that exact same problem, Lucifer. Except, my personality tends to frighten people. And, I am not much of a charmer. And not a lot of people know me very well.

That aside, we've the exact same problem.

[Aqua]

Bido, it sounds like you suffer from social anxiety. All humans have it to varying degrees. The only way to get over it, not that anyone really gets completely over it, is to expose yourself to it as much as possible and while doing so try to remember that they are thinking (to a degree) the same thing as you when you walk by them. Humans tend to think that their insecurities are as evident to others as they are to themselves and this usually isn't true.

Personally, when walking by a person or persons, I look them in the eye when I'm about ten feet away, give the head jerk to say hi, and then go about my business. It does just enough to put the ball in their court and not make me look like a tool.