joining as Pan

[Pan]

Character: Pan
Personality: Courageous, loyal, and hot-headed
Planet:Earth
E-mail: Saintswinsb@yahoo.com
Starting Moves: Kamehameha, Final Kamehameha, and Ki Storm.

Final Kamehameha: This attack is the most powerful Kamehameha made. This kamehameha takes all the Ki of the person and forcing it into a beam of great power, however the user is drained of nearly all their Ki so they are tired and can barely fly

Ki Storm: This attack conjures a ki orb for multiple uses
1. The orb splits into multiple mini orbs that are thrust at the opponent.
2. The orb morphs into a semi-powerful beam
3. The orb forms into 6 powerful blasts for use to bash at short range

Roleplay Sample:

Pan stood on a desolate plain. Across from her stood Vegeta. Vegeta laughed. The young Saiyan was confused. The Vegeta she knew was a quiet man who never wore his ragged old Saiyan armor. ?You are not going to stand in my way! I shall have immortality!" His aura burst forth rending the rocks and sending shockwaves through the ground. Suddenly, he rushed her. Resorting to a pure defensive method of combat. The hybrid Saiyan kicked him off and he unleashed a ki blast she knocked it away. Pan Put her hands into a cup formation and called out " KA...ME" as a blue orb appeared in her hands. Vegeta yelled in retort ?I am the Prince of Saiyan and I shall not lose" as he shot a Gallic Gun at the max power Pan. "HA...ME" she yelled as she was covered in the purple light of the Gallic Gun. "Foolish girl" Vegeta yelled over the roaring beam. "HAAAA" Pan was moved back by the recoil of the release of the trademark technique of her grandfather. The beams met in a flash that lit the sky like an artificial sun. "You are the foolish one. Even if I fail my grandpa will defeat you." "You mean this worthless man" Vegeta sneered as he threw Goku's bloody body to Pan. Pan stared "No...No, this is not true. I am the granddaughter of the legendary Goku and I will never give up!" Her aura turned gold as her bandana flew of revealing flowing golden hair curling and uncurling. Vegeta pumped all his Ki into the Gallic Gun. Pan laughed slightly as she pushed all her Ki into the Kamehameha. Vegeta was stunned "No way, I shall not be defeated by a little girl." After saying that he yelled as he turned gold. "I WILL NOT LOSE." at that he overwhelmed Pan. Pan flew back and was hit by Vegeta in the jaw and, as she flew backwards, Vegeta appeared over her. "Too bad, little girl, too bad" The last thing Pan saw was a purple flash.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pan sat bolt upright in bed, sweating. Videl ran in "What's wrong Pan." "Nothing mom, It was just a dream."

[Yamu]

Can you please make double spaces between your paragraphs so it is easier to read?

Everything else looks good, just repost that one part.

[Pan]

i assume you mean the dashed part yamu, if not please specify? i'll repost when i regain PC access tom. ( im on my psp now)

[Android-18]

Instead of one huge paragraph, or block of text, put a space between some of the chunks. The forum doesnt support tab, so you have to push enter like this:

to make spaces.

[Pan]

Here is the repost of my rp example spaced and touched up all around.

Pan stood on a desolate plain. Across from her stood Vegeta. Vegeta laughed. The young Saiyan was confused. The Vegeta she knew was a quiet man who never wore his ragged old Saiyan armor. ?You are not going to stand in my way! I shall have immortality!" His aura burst forth rending the rocks and sending shockwaves through the ground. Suddenly, he rushed her. Resorting to a pure defensive method of combat the hybrid Saiyan kicked him off and he unleashed a ki blast she knocked it away. Pan put her hands into a cup formation and called out "KA...ME" as a blue orb appeared in her hands. Vegeta yelled in retort ?I am the Prince of Saiyan and I shall not lose" as he shot a Gallic Gun at the max power Pan. "HA...ME" she yelled as she was covered in the purple light of the Gallic Gun. "Foolish girl" Vegeta yelled over the roaring beam. "HAAAA" Pan was moved back by the recoil of the release of the trademark technique of her grandfather.

The beams met in a flash that lit the sky like an artificial sun. "You are the foolish one. Even if I fail my grandpa will defeat you." "You mean this worthless man" Vegeta sneered as he threw Goku's bloody body to Pan. Pan stared "No...No, this is not true. I am the granddaughter of the legendary Goku and I will never give up!" Her aura turned gold as her bandana flew of revealing flowing golden hair curling and uncurling. Vegeta pumped all his Ki into the Gallic Gun. Pan laughed slightly as she pushed all her Ki into the Kamehameha.

Vegeta was stunned "No way, I shall not be defeated by a little girl." After saying that he yelled as he turned gold "I WILL NOT LOSE." at that he overwhelmed Pan. Pan flew back and was hit by Vegeta in the jaw and, as she flew backwards, Vegeta appeared over her. "Too bad, little girl, too bad" The last thing Pan saw was a purple flash.

Pan sat bolt upright in bed, sweating. Videl ran in "What's wrong Pan." "Nothing mom, It was just a dream."

[Yamu]

You've been activated and your roster page set-up. The password is 'qwerty' change it ASAP. You best moves will change when you make a character vault.

I want you to do a favor for me. After you have posted your first Personal RP on the site, post a C&C thread in the RPG forum so I can give you some pointers. You have a good story telling ability, but your grammar needs some work, just not enough for the School.

Remember that every time a new character speaks, a new paragraph has to start. Also, try and vary up your writing with commas.

BTW, Chubbs is a whole different universe, so you haven't met any of the cannon character yet. I hope you have a good time here at Chubbs.

Also, I haven't set up a new writer in awhile so if you have problems just PM me.