C & C ???

[Banned Dana]

Well, it's about time that I start asking for some...i must get better...

LINKAGE

Just looking for little tips and tricks on how to expand my RP'ing venture.

[Ander]

Okay, I gotta say it.

Originally written by Android 13
?Piccolo!? Cried out the humanoid. ?Heads up!?

?Vi, you?ll be wide...? Began Thirteen.

?Hut, hut.? Cried out the droid. ?HIKE!?

Stop it! Those words are not capitalized. I'll let everything else go, but the capitalization irks me.

On to the content, to be perfectly honest, I hate American football (and I only clarify because soccer is called football anywhere else but here), so the material wasn't appealing. So, I cannot comment on that without being biased, and therefore limits what I can give you.

On writing alone, you do a decent job. "Jade warrior" and "paunchy saiyan" among others are great substitutes for names, although you might want to change it up every now and then to something different. I'm pretty sure "butterscotched" with the -ed on the end isn't a word, but it worked, and it's not a color you come across too often. You also really have Violet's character down, in that she's pushy as hell (don't hurt me).

Is there anything specific you wanted looked at?

[Banned Dana]

Actually...that works nicely...just general and even some specific tips will help. Thanks for the ideas B...I'll try to make it work.