C&C Carter

[Carter]

I haven't gotten to the good stuff yet, but I was kinda hopin for some feedback. So if ya have time

http://www.cdbzrpg.com/forum/showthread.php?t=25380

[Cain]

Carter's a love or hate character. He's sarcastic, psychic, and a habitual mj user. You can either change the last thing to: once in a while to produce an effect, not at all(you may've already), or risk being frowned upon incharacter for out of character beliefs from some. This could be a poor generalization, but perhaps a logical one looking at society. That noted, I didn't dislike it.

In the first post you made one grammatical error I could pick out.

"“Word.” Carter replied as he exhaled another thick cloud, which just so happen to slam into the face of Pete."

Should be "Word," Carter replied . . ."

Good start.

[Carter]

I see what you mean and completly agree with you. I care for this character and have great things planned ahead, hopefully I keep it up. Thanks for the input! =D

[Carter]

I'm just going to use this thread to place my work in.

This is a spar between me and Xenia

http://www.cdbzrpg.com/forum/showthread.php?t=25411

And this is my current work in progress 'Fist of Legend'

http://www.cdbzrpg.com/forum/showthread.php?t=27626

These all flow into each other so if you find yourself lost you can back track. C&C is welcome

[Belle Hibiki]

Since you've been gone, a new sub-forum was added to this one called Character Feedback.

C&C stuff generally goes there.

[Carter]

>.>
<.<

My bad

[Vad]

Moved. =D

[Victoria]

The one thing that sticks out to me in your writing is your typos. I do like your story, it's very interesting and I think if you keep going with it you can create a very in-depth and interesting storyline and character. I like Carter, and the whole training thing is great. This reminds me of the training I did with my own NPC, it can give you so much to work with.

Keep it up, ^^, one thing I like to do is read over my RPs before I post them. I guess even I still let a typo or two slip through.

[Carter]

Thank you Victoria. (I'm working on catching my mistakes when I re-read!)

Well, it's progressing and I dunno who gave me the stars but I am seriously grateful and hope to live up to the expectations. I'm in love with Carter and the story I have planned for him so I hope I don't let anyone down.

Seriously, thanks for the rating, means alot to me XD

[Carter]

I'll be finishing Fist of Legend shortly and I would appreciate some feedback on it. Here is the link:

http://www.cdbzrpg.com/forum/showthread....post542271

I hope you enjoy!