Jioning as Saisho

[Lightning Claw]

Name: Sasho

Age: 85

Race: Sayian

Sex:Male

Starting Planet:Vegeta

Profession: Formerly King of the Sayians, only recently returned to civilization

Fighting Style: aggressive

Short Bio: Note: the following is an abriged version of my charachters history. If anyone wants to see the full version, I will post it.
Saisho was still a child during the war with the tuffles. As he grew, he became so strong that he decided to challenge the leader of his clan. Even with the help of his 3 children, the current leader was defeated. Later, when another chieftain attacked Saisho's clan with many warriors Saisho flew out and defeated him in single combat. Saisho bagen taking over the smaller tribes living nearby. Ny the time Frieza took an interest in the planet, Saisho was already the most powerful warlord on the planet. He agreed to serve Frieza and did so for many years. One day, he left planet Vegeta, and while travelling through space was ambushed by Zarbon, whom Frieza had sent to kill him, fearing Saisho's power. Saishos sapceship was destroed, but he took refuge upon anearby planet and eventually commandeered a passing ship. Now, he has plotted a coarse for planet Vegeta, ready to take back the throne and get his rvenge upon Frieza.
General Description: In his prime, saisho looked very much like his grandson, Vegeta, although his hair was never as long. He was quite a nit taller and more muscley as well. Like most sayians, Saisho has black hair and brown eyes.


Starting Abilities: Invulnerability and Survival. Through sheer force of will Saisho can survive things that would kill lesser beings.

Trait: Tenacious, with a little defiant thrown in for good measure

Stats:
Strength:25
Focus:25
Endurance:35
Agility: 15

Role-play Sample: The voyage home

Fifteen years. Fifteen years on that miserable little rock, waiting, hoping for a chance to escape. Fifteen years of isolation, far away from any civilization. Fifteen years of helplessness, with no escape from my memories, no escape from myself. Fifteen years of hell.

I was on my way to investigate an interesting report from one of our warriors. He said that he had found a populated planet that was hitherto unknown to sayians. While the planet itself was of little value, the inhabitants apparently possesed several stones with some sort of mystic power. These stones,called dragonballs, if gathered, could grant any wish. However, the planets inhabitants were unwilling to give up the dragonballs, and a handful of them possesed powers equivelnt to those of low-class sayians. Because I was intriged by these dragonballs, I decided to go myself Instead of sending the team he requested. After all I hadnt been in a real fight for quite awhile, and this sounded like a perfect opportunity for a little fun.

[The old sayian snaps out of his reverie when the ships computer announces that they are now approaching planet Vegeta]

I do not wish to announce my return wihtout first learning what has transpired in my long absence. There is much that I need to learn before I can choose my next coarse of action. Besides, Im curious about how capable a ruler my son has turned out to be.Perhaps it would even be best to leave him on the throne, if he is competent. I am not getting any younger, and I am well aware that the loyalty of my people will wane along with my stength.

It still me how much Ive changed. Only now, as I am about to rejoin my people once more, do I realize thast the proud King of Fifteen years ago is gone. He would never have contemplated giving up the throne while he still lived. In my isolation I have had plenty of time to take a good look at myself, and I regret now the harsh manner in which I ruled the sayian empire, driving my people to start war after war, conquering hundreds of planets. Solitude has taught me many things, not the least of which is humility, a trait so rare in sayians, especailly the elites.

There is one thing that concerns me about this plan, however. Even after Fifteen years, it is possible that the sayains will still recognize their king. I would go in stealth if it were possible, but I would never get the claerance to land witout revealing that I am a sayain.

As I approach the planet, I am given landing instructions without being challenged. While this surprises me, it may be a good sign. Perhaps the sayain empire is more welcoming than it was in my time. However, emerging from my ship I see that the docking bay is in fact well-guarded. The guards look in surprise a tme, and I realize that I have been recognized. Noone comes up to me though, and after a moment I realize that they are staring at my sip and clothes. I cant really say that I blame them. Not only would both my attire and my craft be forien to them, but my clothes are not a perfect fit, and its a miracle the ship made it here. I was almost certain that I would die in the blackness of space without reaching plaet Vegeta. Not that I really had any choice but to take it. Its unlikely I would have ever had another chance to escape that wasteland.

The guards do not stop me, however. As I exit the spaceprt I can at last breath the free air of planet Vegeta once more.I have many questions that need answering, and much work to do. Just for today, though, I will leave my troubles behind. Just for today, I will be content simply to be back on planet Vegeta. Back where I belong. Back home.



Note: This is the first time I have tried play-by-post, I am open to any feedback you may have on my rp. I know my charachter will not be allowed to take over planet Vegeta, so dont bother writing about that.

[Celena]

Okay, first off your character cannot be the former King of Saiyan's. In our RPG, King Vegeta, Vegeta II are the only saiyan's we've recognized as Kings, including the current King Bra (Vegeta II's daughter).

Second, we write in third person tense, not first person.

Third, use a word processor to write your role plays, I recommend Microsoft word or works. That way you'll be able to spot out spelling mistakes easily as they'll be underlined in red.

Fourth, make sure you proof read your role play once you're done typing it up.

Fifth, you can only choose one character trait.

Once you get all of those tasks done, we'll take it from there.

[Lightning Claw]

Okay so basically everything I did was wrong. No problem, Ill think up a new charachter and update the thread( new charachter should be posted today, tommorow at the latest)

[Lightning Claw]

Name:Lightning Claw

Age: 9( He is an adult. Armenians mature fully at age 6)

Race: generic

Sex:male

Starting Planet:earth

Profession: hunter

Fighting Style: aggressive

Short Bio: Charachter History:

Planet Kartajia was an exceptionally beautiful world. Most of the planet’s surface was covered by a vast ocean, with a single continent-sized landmass almost completely encircling the planet from east to west, but narrow enough from north to south that the entire region was a tropic. Blue green grass covered the entire surface of this continent. It was a gentle landscape, with few rugged hills and no hills worthy of being called mountains. Much of the land was covered with fields of flowers. There were groves of fruit-bearing trees all across the continent, but the only real forests were in sheltered valleys well below sea level.

A race of sentient anthropomorphic cats dwelt on Kartajia. The population was small, but because all of their settlements were clustered on the eastern end of the continent, the area between the villages was short, almost never more than a day away. This people called themselves the Armenians, and they had never known war, though prowess in the fields of hunting and fighting brought great renown to an Armenian.

This particular day was a day of festival and celebration for the Armenians. They had many holidays and festivals, often 2 or 3 in a month. Some might think their holidays would be rather dull affairs, since they had them so often, but this was not the case. Armenians loved to gather together, visiting distant relatives in other towns, and never tired of their merrymaking.

However, there was one person who was not partaking in the revelry. High above the planet in his personal spaceship, Frieza was having a quiet celebration of his own.

“At last, I finally have a chance to prove myself,” the young changeling chuckled to himself.

Frieza had been waiting for this day for quite some time. His father had finally given him the opportunity to take over a planet by himself. His older brother, cooler, had been allowed to try his hand at conquest several months before Frieza, a fact Cooler made a point of reminding Frieza at least twice a week.

Frieza exited his ship. As he began to form a ball of energy above his head, he shouted into the blackness of space.

“Are you watching me now, father!? At last, I will prove once and for all I’m better than Cooler!

Frieza sent the attack straight toward the populated area of the planet, destroying the Armenian race in one fell swoop. He paused for a moment, admiring his handiwork. He had done well, destroying the population while leaving most of the planet’s surface intact. King Cold flew up beside him.

“My, my, that was unnecessary.”
“What are you talking about? I killed them without destroying the planet just as you ordered.”
“Yes. But you caused unnecessary damage to the planet’s surface. It wont sell nearly as well now.”
“Oh, come on, one crater isn’t going to affect the sale value of this planet!”
“It’s more than just a little crater. You’ve made a major blight on the planet’s surface. I wouldn’t be surprised if you blew a hole in the ozone layer as well. You need to learn to control your actions, both in combat and when speaking to your king.”
“sorry father”, Frieza mumbled.

They returned to their ship, with Frieza still fuming. If it had been Cooler,King Cold would have praised the work. Father always had liked Coler best. Now, the planet probably wouldn’t even be sold, just to spite him. Oh well, Frieza thought, I’ll get my chance someday.


General Description: Lightning Claw stands about 3 feet tall(and is considered a tall and imposing figure by Armenian standards) His fur is sleek and jet-black, he keeps it clean so it is very shiny. He has extremely large, green eyes.(all Armenians have disproportianately large eyes) He has hands whith 3 fingers and opposable thumbs. Even his whiskers are black.

Starting Abilities: stealth and healing

Trait: Compassionate
Stats:
Strength, 20
Focus, 25
Endurance25
Agility 30

Role-play Sample:

It was the day of a great festival on Lightning Claw’s home planet, Kartajia. It was the celebration of the arrival of the new year. Lightnigclaw had gone to visit his uncle and three cousins the day before (his aunt had passed away some years ago in childbirth). The rising of Kartajia’s twin suns was only a few moments away, and was the height of the revelry on this particular holiday. Lightningclaw had been up all night celebrating with the rest of the villagers, and at the rising of the suns there was to be a great feast.

As they stood watching the suns rise, Lightningclaw, with the trained eye of a hunter, noticed something strange high in the sky. It looked like a red ball, and it was growing larger every second. Lightning claw realized it was coming toward the planet, but was to surprised to shout a warning. Soon others noticed the red glow. “what is it” asked his uncle. “it must be a giant meteor” said one. The glowing sphere was larger than he had thought, it quickly became apparent that it was no mere meteor. “ The suns themselves are falling upon us” cried another Armenian. “ You fool, it can’t be the suns, they still hang in the sky,” yelled Lightningclaw. There argument was cut short when Frieza’s energy ball hit the planet, obliterating their entire race.

Lightning claw did not die that day. He was one of the few who knew about the Armenian space program, and the only on who knew how to fly the ship. As soon as he saw the red ball, he knew something was amiss and headed for the spaceship. He had just taken off when the energy ball destroyed his race. The ship was damaged by the blast, and lightning claw knew he had no hope of fixing it. He entered into hibernation, hoping in that way to ease his passage.

Lightningclaw woke up in a strange room. The walls were made of some sort of white material, and he was lying on something very soft. Although he was weak as a kitten, (yes, I know, horrible pun) He crawled out of the window and snuck away from the building. He had found himself in a vast city, the likes of which had never existed in planet Kartajia. There were many people about, strange-looking people, but he kept to the shadows and out of site. Although he did not yet know it, Lightningclaw had been picked up by a capsule corp ship and brought to the planet earth, home world of the humans.

[Celena]

That isn't a biography of your character. It's an RP sample with Frieza, Coola and King Cold in it. Give me a bio of your character, Lightning Claw.

[Lightning Claw]

Lightning Claw was born in a village called Ichigo, far from the sea for an Armenian settlement. His fur was a handsome ginger color. Large by Armenian standards, Lightning claw displayed exceptional fighting prowess from a young age, nearly always the victor when he played at fighting with his littermates. He had two siblings, a brother and a sister. Before Lightning Claw was yet half-grown, a fire destroyed his home. Lightning Claw managed to escape the fire, although his fur was badly singed and colored black with soot. His mother and brother perished in the fire. His sister had been visiting their uncle at the time.
Lightning Claw went to live with Ichigo’s most skilled hunter and warrior. What this hunter’s right name was none in the village knew, but they called him Lucky. Lucky appeared to be the most unlucky cat in history. One of his ears was missing, the other one shredded badly. Half of his tail was cut off, and he sported one slashed up eye. Nonetheless, he was skilled in the arts of hunting and fighting, and it was for this reason that Lightning Claw choose to live with him. After two years of learning wood craft and fighting skills from Lucky, Lightning Claw entered the annual tournament held by the Armenians. In the first round he was matched up with the reighning champoin, and lost. After another year of training under various masters learning three different styles of martial arts, he entered the tournament again and emerged victorious. It was only a couple of months later that he escaped the destruction of his world and his race.

[Lightning Claw]

Oh and one more thing there is a typo in my join form. Lightning Claw is only 2 feet tall.(yes Armenians are very small)

[Celena]

Thanks for the bio and for everything else I asked you to do. Your punctuation needs the most attention. ALWAYS read over your work to pick out mistakes. For instance in your RP, I noticed there were a few sentences that did not begin with capital letters and that beggining words were spaced out after quotation marks. There should never be any spaces between a quotation mark and the first letter of a word.

The mistakes show that you rush when writing your RP's. Take your time when writing an RP. It'll be easier to pick out errors that way.

After you've RP'd at least once in the earth forum, I highly recommend you use the following thread to ask for Comments & Criticism.

http://cdbzrpg.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=24

Most people don't start of as good writers so I wouldn't panic. In fact your writing is parallel to mine when I joined 4 years ago. People can vouch. You can only get better.

You're in. Welcome to chubbs. I'll update you in the roster page. Wait to be activated. If you haven't already, read the rules. If you come across anything in general you're not sure about, PM me.

[Lightning Claw]

alright thank. Awaiting update in roster.

[Celena]

Done. I also added you to the training page.