Help, please.

[Old Selipa]

I would like some help with a problem I have. Please be nice when replying this is something that means a lot to me and I?m turning here for help in anyway.

Umm, I was in a relationship and could never have been any more happy. However three weeks ago my ex called me drunk and said that she didn?t want to be with me. I said, ok she is drunk, I will not take it personal. I saw them two days later on Sunday face to face to mention what they had said to me cause it hurt. I never ever saw anything like this coming. She said on Sunday that we should take some time apart and take it day by day. I said ok. Monday I pull an all-nighter and she explodes late at night time with me how we can not be together anymore. I say ok, ill give you time sorry we couldn?t take this day by day. So I wait for her to come to me, she comes and talks to me over MSN and I act like we used to and so does she. Later that night, I?m up again pulling another all-nighter and she comes on and out of nowhere says ?its over for good?. I calm her down but the things she said were very hurtful. I say I want to meet and talk about wants going on. She says simple, No. I wait for her to come to me, here and there sending little e-mails like I used to, simple of how my day was and how she was. (This is how we first met. So I hopped this nice style of e-mailing would let her know im not mad at her in anyway and im here for her) I have hope that when she is ready we can work things out. So I buy her a gift just out of friendship and plan to give it to her on V-day, but I don?t want to pressure her into seeing me. So I plan to give it to a friend we have in common. V-day comes. I get the mega load, such a hatful e-mail that I never saw coming, how she never wants to see me again. I reply trying to have an open mind with both sides as to what has gone wrong. Today I get an e-mail in response simple saying that ?she hates me, she got up one day and hated me. She does not want a friendship or relationship. She never wants to see me again.? This e-mail was so much filled with hate, I am just so taken back. Like I don?t understand? How could someone just wake up one day, feel in their gut that they hate someone and simple hate them.

We had good times, I know that.

I?m just so lost, this has never happened to me. This hate towards me. I don?t know, im just dead inside now. I don?t know what to do.

Any help would be grateful, actually I don?t know. Im just so lost and Chubbs has been my home for some time. I know I don?t talk a lot but I read the boards every night. I don?t know, maybe someone could help. I?m just lost.

Thank you for your time.

[Violet]

I feel ya. I am sorry about that. You will have your jackasses through life, and she just may be one of them. Don't let her string you any further, because eventually, your string will break, and who knows what will happen. Use this time away from her to collect yourself, it may take a while, but ask yourself what YOU want. you don't want the hate, as she had displayed to you already, you don't need it. All that hate just gathers up on your sould, creating black spots that cannot be removed, and bringing you down. That is a horrible way to go, man.

Yes, there are more people in this world who would more than likely jump at the chance of dating you, but just take this time, enjoy your singleness. Be you for a change without having to worry about her, or finding someone to take her place. You never know what will happen in the future, who knows, you might end up finding the one woman you can share your time with who enjoys you, appreciates what you are about, and not be so damn negative.

I am sorry, but not to be trashin your ex, but she doesn't sound worthy of you or your time anyway. You are the better, and you need to realize this. She belittled herself by acting like an ass, and think, if you two were to get back together, what will erase all those negativities that she had created previous? You don't need that, man.


Well, so much for my advice, Love peace and nappiness,

Vi

[Android-18]

She obviously has mental problems. Hun, forget her. She is another page in your life, you will find a girl just for you out there who will treat you right. This girl did not consider your feelings, so just let her go. That's all I can really say.

[Tobias]

She's more than likely trying to make it like its your fault. That your the horrible person. It makes her feel better.

Or she's insane.

Either way don't get hung up on it. I know its hard but try to forget her. You know it was nothing you did to derserve it.

[Old Selipa]

Thank you, it meant a lot to me. Things are just still on my mind and hard not to think about.

1) I?m just not sure what to do. I have a V-day gift I bought out of friendship and simple caring for this person. Should I give it still? I don?t hate her at all even after what she said to me. I would like to give it?

2)How should I reply to her last e-mail. She messages me on MSN asking if I had gotten hers. I don?t know why, if she hates me so much then why did she not delete me off MSn? Did she want one last time to have the last word? To make sure I got that awful e-mail? I don?t know, I?m so lost.

3)She said all her friends hate me, but most of them message me on MSN to chat or over facebook. Should I call these friends and ask them if we are friends, of if they only talked to me out of respect for me dating there friend? I don?t want to get them involved and damage relationships with my ex and them. But I believe that they have also become my friends. I just don?t want to seem like im making them choose. I only want to be happy. I don?t know? again im so fucking lost and dead inside.

[Reijin]

If you only talk to her on the net and crap, she might have had her stuff freeloaded by some "friend" of hers. That'd explain the schizo stuff. I'd call her up in person or see her and ask her straight up what's going on. Then hold her to whatever she says. If she says nothing more is going to happen, don't let her come back later going "wait baby let's work it out". As I read in a book and have put into action many times...

"I won't kill you. I won't exact revenge. I'll do the worst thing imaginable to you. Leave you to the consequences of your own actions."

[Yamu]

I have found very few things to be true in this life, but one thing I know is that there are other people out there who you will love just as much if not more.

You have given in a fair chance, done everything you can to salvage it and you get nothing in return, move on man. You deserve better then someone who will treat you like that.

No, do not give her the gift. Save it for someone who will appreciate it, and appreciate YOU.