+- CDBZ Archive (http://alex.zulenka.com)
+-- Forum: Out of Character Forums (http://alex.zulenka.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=8)
+--- Forum: RPG Discussion (http://alex.zulenka.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=125)
+--- Thread: [C&C] Lost Resolve (/showthread.php?tid=13497)
[C&C] Lost Resolve - James - 01-27-2009
I've been out of the game for a while mainly doing poetry and rough outlines for a comic series I'm starting so I might be a little rusty. Any criticism is massive appreciate, the tougher the better.
Story so far...
After arriving on Earth Ares wastes no time getting acquainted with the local inhabitant of a nearby farm, engaging the being in combat only to discover the inadequate fighting potential of the man which ultimately led to the farmer's demise. Ready to travel after a brief night's rest the boy mounts a cow and goes forth into the wide rolling plains.
Traveling quickly became a bored but not quick enough as the next thing he knew he was in the middle of an old West town govern by a Mr. White. When two robbers hold up a store Ares had been browsing in the shopkeeper enlists him to catch up with the culprits and bring back his zeni. Finding this an easy task, the teenager tracks down the bandits but only a hair too late as another bounty hunter beat him to the punch having knocked out the two bandits. Accusing the boy of being one of the thieves the gunman draws on the youth only to be taken back by the ease at which Ares caught the bullets out of midair.
More interested in getting the cash back Ares quickly disposes of the mercenary and retrieves the sack of bills and the man's hat before returning to the store to present his spoils. Upon entry, the youth is confronted with a man dressed down in a white suit speaking with the store clerk who greets the boy, impressed by his accomplishments.
Introducing himself as Mr. White he convinces Ares to take up position as the town sheriff by which the teen passively accepts. Now wearing a complimentary leather coat, hat and his new badge the boy visits the local saloon for a drink. While there the two robbers from earlier are sulking from their loss till one notices the hat on Ares' head as being that of the desperado's from that morning.
Red, the shorter criminal, denounces that and claims it to be an accomplice or possibly the one that done the gunman in and made off with the loot. Now with a posse of men, Red rises and readies to jump the unaware Ares turned about at the bar.
http://www.cdbzrpg.com/forum/showthread.php?t=25278
Also wouldn't mind company if anyone's interested. Was going to try hopping in another after this for some relations gathering but suppose now is as good a time as any, not to mention it would make for a more involving story once the twists start coming around.
[C&C] Lost Resolve - James - 02-03-2009
Next one is up! Havoc at the Whorehouse.
http://www.cdbzrpg.com/forum/showpost.php?p=489925&postcount=5
[C&C] Lost Resolve - James - 02-09-2009
Ba-da boom. The Tri-fling Antics of Superfly
http://www.cdbzrpg.com/forum/showpost.php?p=490380&postcount=6
[C&C] Lost Resolve - James - 02-10-2009
Had time for another! A Dead Man and a Dirty Hole
http://www.cdbzrpg.com/forum/showpost.php?p=490523&postcount=7
[C&C] Lost Resolve - Vad - 02-13-2009
Alright man. I must say it was an excellent read. Thoroughly enjoyed it.
The following description of the liquid being mined got me to laugh:
Quote:This bizarre chemical causes a variety of side effects including, but not limited to, hallucinations, senseless rage, vomiting, reckless endangerment of those around the drinker, spelling 'color' with a 'u' and temporarily increased muscle volume." he slapped his metal prod against several diagrams with explanations which Ares found less than entertaining. "Therefore we must proceed to stop this baron and his evil! The fact that this undiscovered resource could provide possible medical capabilities, I think, is more than worth the risk."Over all? You exceed my skills. I can learn a lot about details from you. I'll talk you about that when your on AIM next.
9/10! Keep up the good work!
[C&C] Lost Resolve - James - 02-13-2009
Appreciate having someone read through and admit to it! <3
Inclined to believe I've got some flaws to what I've been doing but I'm glad the descriptions weren't overwhelming. I've had a problem of pumping my writing so full of focus on one scene that it drifts a bit off topic or fails to make a point of truly particular events.